THE ODD THING ABOUT ACCIDENTS

A cardboard box was in the middle of the pavement. I kicked at it. My leg fell into the coal hole whose cover had been removed. I had to go and have stitches to the cut.

Kick it!

This was 1974. I had come out of my rented flat near Gloucester Road Tube, in West London. I have no doubt I had been pranked and cruelly so.

Any person walking there on that day could have been the one injured. The key to it is in the “could have been”. The future perfect conditional is the closest description of my accident. It was waiting to happen to me. The part I played in it was really rather incidental.

When people say, “Everything happens for a reason”, I disagree. In the universe of time, I say, “Everything happens!” Simply because happenings happen, their sufficiency is self-contained. The richness of the moment of what happens floods my consciousness with joys unending.

The list of circumstances which set me up for this fall is as lengthy and varied as those which could equally have existed and resulted in no fall at all.

I can easily call to mind incidents (a nice neutral word) in which I was involved in road accidents, as the driver, as a passenger, or a pedestrian. My gratitude at having survived these few occasions of danger has close similarities to my gratitude for waking up safe and well every new day among my family and friends.

What chain of consequences might have followed after I kicked that cardboard box in 1974? My tibia could have fractured, causing immediate, severe pain. Poor medical treatment or infection could have left me with deformity or walking instability, and my life might have changed forever.

None of this happened. The point is that I almost never think back to that day. When I go there, I give no thought to what might have been. I never think about the person who set up the trap.

Where is this train of thought about events of a life threatening nature leading me, I wonder?

in my EveryNow blog posts, I write without dissembling or self-delusion about revisiting and rediscovering my time as a baby, child and adolescent.

I have come across no factors in my history which severely warped or misdirected my ability to maintain my identity and to lead a full productive life.

This life my parents constructed for me was primed for my safety and security. I cannot claim against them or blame them for laying foundations of my life based on anything other than human goodness and compassion.

Goodness and compassion

I now understand I was equipped in rudimentary ways which I would not have been fully aware of as I entered the age of reason and self-awareness, to cleave to the source of my own humanity, compassion and inner peace.

My core being had never been subject to threat or ill-treatment. Curiously enough, that fact felt like a disadvantage when I compared myself to my peers, some of whom were savvy and street wise, one or two even street fighters.

I had periods of deep depression in my early 20s. I was hospitalised. My parents great fear was that I might lose my independent ability as an adult to take care of my basic needs.

Today I am retired. In the foreseeable future I see nothing stands in the way of a healthy married life, with children, grandchildren and more loyal friends than at any previous time in my life.

I see no single factor or event in my life story which prevented me from falling into ruin, whether physical ruin or psychological degradation.

In 1965, I wonder what held me back from refusing my girlfriend’s offer of shooting up her heroin? Caution, cowardice, informed fear? All of these.

In 1982, I was confronted by a massive and tragic life altering situation. I had clear choices. I could give up trying to fight my side for my future, not ask for help, and walk away. Without doubt I would have reverted to being a nobody, wretched and diminished perhaps for life.

Faced with a clear and present danger, I fought as hard as I knew how to fight. Against the odds, I saved myself and others from the brink of a disaster whose consequences would have damaged at least three lives, possibly beyond repair.

Flame that burns, consuming nothing

Nature affects the assumptions I make about the frames of reference I am equipped with. Nurture affects how I allocate and deploy the choices I make according to what I believe is best for myself and others.

I’m talking about the cultivation of a belief system linked to my personal view of the world I live and move around in, in relation to the most sacred centre of my integrity.

I have been composing my EveryNow blog posts and showing them on my Facebook pages since 2018. I now have readers in roughly 30 countries.

EveryNow speaks for itself. The belief systems that it relies on and navigates by come from never ending sources of ancient established spirituality. I hardly know what labels apply. The structures owe their existence to Zen, Taoism, Apophatic Mysticism, and to good old Powers of Positive Thinking, amongst others.

My story about the lessons I’ve learned from the Cardboard Box episode shows me that I have nothing that is specially of my own making to impart to the world.

I don’t intend to convert, or evangelise. My day to day, moment to moment intense experience of being alive and in Life, so heightened by my sudden unforeseen heart openings of 2013 — the Year of my Life — continue to need sharing to the best of my ability.

I proffer no message, hold out no quick fix. I am convinced that the epiphanies I have lived are available as positive transformative experiences to other people.

I am so graced by the massive shifts in my life, I will not ignore them, nor keep them to myself.

I am just this guy with his blog and the delicious sense of being on fire with love flames that burn, burn, and consume nothing. I am not about promotion. I am about sharing at high visibility with maximum openness.

I hope my readers will be motivated to read on, when they strongly feel that life in any formulation or format is worth continuing to live and enjoy EveryNow

~ Love is present EveryNow

AUTHOR’S PREFACE TO EVERYNOW

PETER PILLEY REFLECTS ON EVERYNOW

EveryNow author

A portal to life’s glory opened to me in an unexpected and brilliant burst of inception in February 2013. It engulfed me, Peter Pilley, and straight away began to transform me. Some time passed before I discovered that I was experiencing an epiphany, a heart opening.

This wash of unknown emotions and revelations was so utterly new, when I tried to open my mouth to talk about this state of grace, I could not find the words in English! Slowly, I came to realise what had opened would forever remain open.

EveryNow speaks for itself. I write about the cultivation of a belief system linked to my personal view of the world I live in, in relation to the most sacred centre of my integrity. The belief systems my writings rely on and navigate by come from never-ending sources of ancient established spirituality. I hardly know what labels apply. The structures owe their existence to Zen, Taoism, Apophatic Mysticism, and to good old Powers of Positive Thinking, amongst others.

My day to day, moment to moment, intense experience of being newly alive and in life began with a starburst of gentleness. This delicious newness continues to demand I share it to the best of my ability.

I say the epiphanies I have lived can be available as positive transformative experiences to other people. My life story as I know it tells me I have nothing uniquely of my own making to impart to the world. I am so graced by the massive shifts in my life, I will not ignore them, nor keep them to myself. I am all about sharing, like friends, wonder-struck, in a scented, colourful garden for the first time.

I am just this guy with his blog and the delicious sense of being on fire with love flames that burn and consume nothing.

After this epiphany in 2013, I researched online, close questioned friends. I began to write a digital journal. I searched with urgent intensity to tease out meaning from my new condition of incandescent awareness.

During my first six doldrum decades, I neglected to hold communion with my heart. I had contented myself with “Living to Love”, which is pretty, but superficial. I knew I loved loving. I thought it enough to believe in love. My daily search for love was dedicated, thorough and systematic.

A time comes when the search for love somewhere outside of me becomes plainly pointless, like chasing shadows. When I begin Loving to Live from the heart is when I start to be remade whole again, which means I join in with humanity as yet another “Pixel of Humanity”

Today I am at peace and at ease with my experience of being alive in this completeness of sentience in the moment, a gift I call EveryNow. It amazes me how it still feels as astonishing, secure and as unremittingly brand new as it did at the start of my unforeseen gentle earthquake in 2013.

My EveryNow blog is not here to change you. I am not about promotion. I proffer no message, hold out no quick fix lists. You can read it as an organic journey of awakening. It may let you believe that the bliss and rooted peace which has found a happy home in me, can be yours too, if you “let go”, if you experiment with trying to avoid judgement, or stop discarding one choice over another. The potential at the birth of all choices has equal value. 

It can be enough to “Chat to Things”. Concentrate your senses with fierce, daily and above all uncritical, unconditional loving attention on all the tiny nearby things and beings, wherever you sit, stand, walk or travel. And then? Will they chat back at you?

In 2018, my journal turned into the EveryNow blog, which you can see on www.everynow.blog by WordPress. I now have readers in roughly 30 countries. I am still adding to it. It’s rooting, branching, ever growing, much like a garden.

Mine are the everyday stories of someone who is daily willingly reliving the trauma of massive heart opening. I write of love, compassion and praise for the glories o9f living from the heart. I illustrate my blog posts mostly with my own photos or artwork.

Sieze the joy