* To my Friend who is in pain and perplexity *
I truly wish my words fill up your heart with love, dear Friend.
I remind you, you have set out courageous and have begun to confront dark barriers which old traumas and sorrows have solidified into blocks on your path.
Some of these horrid monoliths you have grown accustomed to carrying about with you wherever you go, wherever you are.
This is hard work, exhausting and lonely. There is no relief. The sad thing is, in the end, your beautiful lovable self can curl up and shrink out of sight.
And now I remind you that I still believe in Epiphany.
Being drenched by a spontaneous experience of this magnitude can take a person into a state of raised consciousness, regardless of unresolved internal obstacles.
Here is a place, a state of vibrant new awareness, where there is a continuous, powerful, conscious intuitive connection between oneself and the origin of all life.
This is a sudden inrush into the heart of life force – peace and love – from which all life springs and to which all life returns.
The heart floods with love. Very quickly the lovelight shows up the years, months and days lived in the shade.
Here is the source of a waterfall of Healing.
I liken this potential to enter into transformative awakening, this state of grace by an epiphany, to an arrival at a Portal, as depicted so graphically in ‘Stargate’, the sci-fi series.
However, there is a price to pay. No one steps through a Portal casually. It takes courage and determination born out of desperation and repeated suffering to embark on such a rite of passage.
A person who has acknowledged and begun a journey of self-discovery, this person is unavoidably on course to rediscover the lovable, as well as the loving self.
The loving self I say, because you know you love and you have loved, and you can love. Giving comes rather naturally.
Can you be loved so willingly in these familiar ways by your own self? In a nutshell, can you love yourself? Can you “be love” ?
Some call the opening of a significant life journey a falling in love again with the self.
“Again” because the original self “is” love. The early human baby, to whom the future has no meaning, is all about present immediacy.
This new being inhabits the space, the playground of love.
Here in this primal arena is also hunger, thirst, desire for security, in whatever order.
The reason (if such an abstraction has any meaning in the context of a newborn) why such primal needs excite us so much is simply that they sustain life.
This is life lived at no remove at all from the life instinct – the will to live, to continue to survive. This condition of mind is primitive, urgent, exciting.
And I say it is very beautiful indeed.
Every sentient being on Earth – in the sea, on land, in the air – lives at this intense level.
Some time later, in independent times, once the need is implanted, as a result of whatever life circumstances, banal or dramatic, to discover the answers to Who, What, even
Why I “am”, the path at your feet becomes luminous and fertile with a rather mysterious sense of promise.
This feeling of being onto something exciting is present for the straightforward reason that there is a strong intuition that a fulfilment is waiting.
A resolution seems to be attainable for me, because it is I who have made the possibility of fulfilment appear to be within my reach, exactly because it is me who visualised it, called out to it, who cried out for it.
“In my beginning is my end” – TS Eliot
All life, as we read in books, is interconnected. All the interconnections stem from one source, we read in the books. The source is terrific, powerful and overwhelmingly beautiful, as we read and hear from various directions. This is so.
In unity, Humanity has raised its face to this millennial truth. This is as it is.
Little wonder that having stepped out on the pilgrimage to self realisation, the ground trembles, and we feel irresistibly drawn on.
The stage is reached where only a hair trigger stimulus will be enough to slam the seeker into a brilliant way of seeing.
Epiphany experiences are in rather short supply!
It may happen a person grows quietly into a new place of understanding. With a: “So that’s it.” With a few “Aha’s”. Quickly, or little by little.
Like a dam burst open, there is no avoiding, no postponing, no ignoring the approach of light, the flowering of abundant life and, with this release, laughter.
I so truly wish this on you with all my soul’s strength, my dear Friend