Where I cultivate my close attention, and it returns intensity of awareness to me without locking any part of me into what I am doing with my directed attention.
I am tempted to step forward with a ghastly admission. All my life I have addressed my Intuition for guidance, understanding and comfort. The conversation is intense, fairly constant and rather lonesome. The vocabulary and range of expression increase slowly with advancing years.
When I overhear an argument where the discussion concerns the validity of abstract and unproven concepts at the heart of the “eternal” questions about Life, the Universe and Everything, and where the protagonists appear to be acquisitive in their quest for knowledge, my intuition shouts and shakes me to identify the simplest common factor, or the least complex set of sentences with the fewest sub-clauses or dependent clauses.
My Intuition seeks out the closest thing to a smell of the axiomatic, the first most viscerally appealing positive statement, and my Intuition homes in on the mystical, the emotive, and the form of expression most swiftly sensitising and arousing the poetic in me.
For “in me”, read “in my Heart”. For “Heart” read “the Peace and Love from which we all come and are constituted and to which we all return”.
All we have is the utmost we can offer using the entire range of our intellectual abilities allied to those of the past giants on whose broad shoulders we are conscious of standing and reaching up from.
We ultimately arrive at a position from which we can and really ought to say, “The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of Humility. Humility is endless.” (ts eliot)
I seek my truth in deliberate isolation from the forces of competing theories. I recognise that this can be legitimately regarded as wilful intellectual laziness. It is a form of puerile anti authoritarian rebellion. It is ghastly to admit. Yet my thirst for discovering who and what I am has for all these years been slaked by my strong allegiance to that intangible unidentifiable “Intuition”.
There never will be for us in these our human frames of reference a completion, a knowledge whose purity contains no further questions. I have found an entirely satisfactory conclusion. By this I mean it is one which satisfies my deepest need to identify with a balance between my Awareness as a sentient being and Sufficiency of purpose in mind and body.
I do not regard it as a conclusion at all, but as a set of tools by which to measure my days, travel time, and reflect on my life among other lives in an inevitable plurality of beings, all of whom deserve respect for being each their own ambassador of life’s abundance
~ Love is present E v e r yN o w
Awareness is not the result of practice for practice implies the formation of habit; habit is the denial of awareness.
Awareness is of the moment and not a cumulative result. To say to myself that I shall become aware is not to be aware. To say that I am going to be non-greedy is merely to continue to be greedy, to be unaware of it.
How to approach a complex problem? Surely it’s not by meeting complexity with complexity; approach it simply, and the greater my simplicity the greater will be the clarification.
To understand and experience Reality there must be utter simplicity and tranquillity. “Must” does not imply compulsion, merely a reminder, a statement of what Reality is.
When I suddenly see a magnificent scenery or come upon a great thought, or listen to great music, I am utterly still. Human minds are not simple, but to recognize complexity is to be simple.
If I wish to understand myself, my complexity, there must be open receptivity, the simplicity of non-identification. But so often people are not aware of beauty or complexity, and so we chatter on.
With acknowledgement of thanks to Krishnamurti
*No question; answer is before*
I, five-pointed star creature, am a creature of thoughts. I think because I think. I am amused and bemused by the thoughts I listen to.
I receive parental and peer suggestion that encourage me to rely on my “powers of thought”.
I am later informed of the pointlessness of over-thinking, and later still I am warned about giving credence to the chattering “monkey” mind.
I am in truth another creature of the gardens of Eden, alike unto the sentient beings who share my air, earth, and water.
I am naturally attuned to the rhythms of light and dark, hunger and thirst.
I am another seeker after warmth and the supportive companionship of others like myself.
The time I spend in awareness of my own awareness is self absorbing and attractive.
Think! How much time do I devote to my physical comfort, to awareness of my bodily condition?
Stop! What feedback is my muscular framework giving me?
Ask! What if any noteworthy messages am I receiving from my soma, my joints and tendons, my fascia, the involuntary state of my breathwork?
I can do myself a simple and all-too-rare an honour by listening to myself, by conversing with my soma.
I, as five-pointed star creature, breathe and beat time to a clock of blood.
The form of this timepiece is as far from the assumed reality of my bird-like thought patterns as the ocean depths are from the jetstream.
Pause and see all these are interconnected.
It is when I am injured or unwell that I can see examples of the ungraspable timescales on which my body clock operates.
As I begin to recover, to recuperate, I cannot see any needle on a dial that moves towards wholeness or wellness. It becomes apparent with hindsight, and then only by an effort of will, that I can compare yesterday with today and observe minor changes for the better.
Happiness depends so much more than I have been led to believe on living, on carrying out the routines that sustain my bodily functions.
To tell myself I depend on one part or other of who I am – whether it is mind, body or spirit – is to miss the wood for the trees.
I am inclined to grasp at fleeting satisfactions, pleasures, successes, drownings. Howsoever tangible they are, they are passing moments in the greater flow.
When the flow is seen to be where and what and who I am part of, that is when I can rest, take my ease, find comfort and be for the most part at peace with myself and with my fellows.
“Summer and Winter
Come and go;
See the sense of season
Sleep naked of reason”
From Breath to Love – A guided meditation
TUESDAY 25th SEPTEMBER was the monthly Breathwork session “From Breath to Love – Conscious Breathing Circle” held by Karolina Mikulicz here in our home town.
When I arrived, I was the only one attending! So we agreed to have a 1-2-1 session.