❌ The unregarded power between rejection and acceptance 🕊️

🕊️ The unregarded power between rejection and acceptance ❌

When I accept a friend’s smile, I am all at once with my friend. I cannot recall anything of the moment prior to the infusion into my being of the smile.

I so am overtaken by the oscillating wave of friendship immediately upon recognition of the smile, that there is no need to analyse or rationalise the small deep joy of this human connection. It is just joy.

In fact, I never do stand aside to look at this process. And I may not be able to, because it is a trigger at a primitive level of our gregarious collective human nature.

And yet something does exist between the seeing and the surrender to the seen.

It may only be the smallest glimpse of something. And it shines clear and pure and true.

The quality of the purity and human truth present in a transaction of simple friendship is of the same order as is striven for throughout human history and which is sung and celebrated and held in the greatest esteem by thinkers and artists, sages and leaders, from the furthest reaches of recorded time.

If I do understand any of it at all, I feel it is a reflection of primal power of the life force itself that I have witnessed in the smile shared between my friend and I.

E.E.Cummings, in this poem, makes contact with this primal power with the delicacy, as it feels to me, of the wingbeats of some vaporous cosmic butterfly …

may my heart always be open to little
birds who are the secrets of living
whatever they sing is better than to know
and if men should not hear them men are old

may my mind stroll about hungry
and fearless and thirsty and supple
and even if it’s sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young

and may myself do nothing usefully
and love yourself so more than truly
there’s never been quite such a fool who could fail
pulling all the sky over him with one smile

The practice of Apophatic bliss

TOUCH bliss whenevah

The practice of Apophatic bliss

The attainment of satisfaction is not so far out of reach at any given stage of your journey as you might think. That’s also the message of Apophatic Mysticism.

The removal of personal obstacles, a stasis of bliss (ecstacy even) is largely dependent on factors we all have very much under our close control, if we choose. There are many recognised practices which help us to offset or eliminate attachment of various kinds.

We can “do” non-dual ways of thinking and even “get” the fundamental ideas which help us to act with non-judgement, and discover that outcomes negative and outcomes positive have essentially equal value to us, regardless of how these present to us as subjective extremes.
This merciful release from dependency on the “satisfaction” with life becomes turned around, when life lived fully and in the richness of the moment “lives” us.

Every single activity of the mind or body can be experienced with a passionate focus, with no regard or need for “outcome”. Which, being intensely lived in the moment, releases burdens of acquisition and the trappings of results measured by time past or time future.

I find it hard not sound like a steam engine, chuntering my words, to describe or transfer my own experience of these processes of surrender and show how there is easy access to an unshakeable and constant love of life, which in turn is grounded in all our deepest existence.

I now think I can trace back my own deliverance from fruitless striving after illusory goals. I was shaken out of my personal boundaries by my first, rather ecstatic, experiences of my self, subsumed wholesale and all on a sudden, into the eyes of my first few Biodanza partners. This marked the start of 2013, the Year of my Life.

The rush out of my entire selfhood and my entry, by consent, disembodied and without words, into the most sacred heart space of another shook me and created lasting fundamental changes in my appreciation of life and what I am doing in it.

These changes were at first devastating and incomprehensible. I even had no English vocabulary to describe what was happening. I had to learn so much from first principles. I read hungrily and learned a lot from Googling new words, like Non-attachment and Self-sabotage. A few Soulfriends, wiser and more travelled, shared their time with love.

What was happening with me was bewildering but undeniably beautiful, so I began to journal, to create a type of daily order from my emotional chaos. Journaling continues to be of great benefit. What I am composing right now is journaling.

I soon understood that my Apophetic Ecstasy had arrived, though I only stumbled on this technical term eight years later. I knew it was here to stay. The fact of its presence shows up as a constant feeling of being in love with no person or object of the love.

All my adult life, I have been fascinated by the mysticism and awe which so often accompanies the act of surrender.

Surrender here is me releasing my own will. This surrender can be a willful and willing acceptance and yielding to whatever else is occurring other than what I personally believe, think or want.

In the moment of release into such a state of surrender, acceptance becomes everything, and I see everything as containing and contained in sufficiency. A sufficiency where I want nothing, want for nothing, and Loving Kindness and Goodness follow me all the Days of my life!

Honestly, the veil is thin as thin can be between the “hard labour” we so often take to be our lot in life, and the permanent lightness of heart which relates to our innate and primal human state of being and which is available to everyone EveryNow


I was surprised recently to discover much of what I have become aware of since 2013, as I negotiate these ripe orchards of newness, is described in scholarly detail in the book by Raymond Carl Sigrist, published by Infinity.com, titled “In love with everything – Apophatic Mysticism”.

From my personal perspective, the wanderer filled with wonder, Sigrist’s treatment of the subject skips over the transformative effects of the application of bliss in daily thought and action. The shifting ground of bliss welcomes my feet on my stepping stones to wakeful gratitude.

The pain and confusion of the dark

⚫The pain and confusion of the dark⚪

It is at least half a century since I lived the pain and confusion of the dark.

How much can I usefully contribute to comfort and encourage you in your dark time today?

In these happy years since I re-joined the Tribe, the peer group, and entered freely into open-hearted communion with like friends, I am rediscovering the world of connection as I go.

After a falling away of fruitless trying and trying, and the beginnings of acceptance had crept into and become allied with my day to day curiosity, the way out of the dark for me was to place myself in the way of making acquaintances and friendships.

It is a step which requires a certain amount of bravery. But not more than, say, deciding to run for that bus, and not just to let it drive off without me.

You are preoccupied. You may feel plagued. Stand back from the troubles inside, face outwards with curiosity and bravery.

Look to immerse your attention in person in the presence of other prople’s lives, however different or trivial seeming to what you feel you are enduring.

By being a listener, by giving your precious presence, merely as a sincere witness, both you and the one on whom who you attend will be transformed. It’s not like change; it’s about transformation.

Things began to dramatically shift when I was curious enough and brave enough to join small groups with regular activities.

After about half a century, I began to notice the mirroring in other people.

Yes, the groundwork during that long time span had been prepared by travels through various powerful epiphany experiences along the way. I have set them down elsewhere on my Facebook page. Search for “epiphany” in my EveryNow blog.

All my life, I had taken it for granted that my light belonged hidden under that bushel!

I had so often played down positive comments about me, even from my Mother and Father, that I had lost interest in myself. I hardly gave my morning reflection a second glance.

I began to understand that I had no idea at all who this person I call myself actually is. It was hard to see “me” in photos of me.

I had stopped looking at my reflection in the mirror. I had reduced my image of myself so far down in importance that I had stopped taking myself into consideration.

I received a terrifying and desperate shock when I was asked to describe my very earliest happy memories. I tried to recall the face of the blissful little boy I remembered who was strolling in a flower meadow in the early 1950s.

To my horror, there was only a pale oval where my childish features should have been clear to recognise! I broke down at the realisation.

I no longer recognised the person others recognised when they saw –  really saw – me.

This is not to say I never saw others. My desire to see others deeply, holistically and using all my intuition, mind and soul had always been accentuated by the ever-present ‘clouds of unknowing’ which surrounded my image of me.

Today I accept without reservation it is to some degree or other perfectly true to say we are all of us without any exceptions at all, amazing, beautiful, miraculous, even angelic beings.

Through my new found contact, sometimes very intimate contact, as in the joyful practise of regular Biodanza, I arrived at a starting point – the basic premise of which is that we are Love.

“I am Love”. Utter tosh? Wishy-washy slackness of mind?

When I first saw those words, it was in 2013. They made no sense. Read them backwards, forwards, in any order, I still thought some key word must be missing.

I was Love-blind.

I began to feel severely challenged when I tried to maintain my closed-off, shut-down, received attitude of “No not me”, which is inculcated into all of us from our earliest socialising years by wider society.

And then I surrendered!

I was obliged to stop and stand still, when I was brought face-to-face with the light of my original self by repeated “mirrorings” from new people all around me.

These were people I had begun to deeply respect. I began to see with my eyes, possibly for the first time in 66 years, the light of other people’s integrity shining with unconditional trust from their own hearts’ source.

I can never dowse the brilliant and beautiful shocking startlement of finding myself, eye-to-eye, momentarily in the shared sacred space of the heart of another!

I embraced – literally – that fact… I am Love. We are all Love.

“Go meet others” probably sounds trite. But triteness here makes it more, not less valid.

I am drawn to say that the unbearable absence of light and the terrible destructive pain of not being able to find some way of your own to fill the absence is all illusory.

Of course the pain is real. But only as real as the strength of desire aroused by the thought of eating some favourite, but unavailable delicacy.

Thoughts such as these that never lead anywhere but into the dark are an ever-present part of our human condition.

Luckily for our peace of mind and our sanity, with a minimum of training, such thoughts can be spotted as they approach, and we allow them to dissolve, long before they come too close, bite, draw blood, and embed.

If you seek the answer, do not question.

There is no question.

Nothing is buried hidden.

There is always only the answer.

What is the answer? The answer is like two children playing Hide-and-seek.

One counts to twenty, eyes closed.

When the eyes open, oh the shock! The other child never ran to hide, but stayed in front and in plain sight, grinning!

We are human.

Our hearts are not designed for loneliness and our bodies are not capable of tolerating much physical pain.

We are beings.

There is no such thing as a vacuum. No such attainable point as Absolute Zero. The reality of an atom is in an energy equilibrium composed of multiple particle-waveforms replete with unlimited potentiality in spectacular extreme motion.

So it is with us! 

A being gains in sentience from other beings, starting with its ancestral origins, and all throughout life and on.

There is no meaning and there is no value in the dark whirlpool.

All any of us need in order to feel a sense of completeness is the witness of true friends. A friend, or an acquaintance with a pure heart, who knows they are constituted of love can always bring me again into the light of my original being for the simple reason that I am love.

Fly! Decide to fly.

I cannot usefully say more. Life is sparkling, ever shifting brilliance. Be dazzled. Go well

~ Love is present EveryNow

“No question; answer is before”

“No question; answer is before”
Here it may be that you could find the bits of hope you may be hoping to find.
Be on guard that your very question, when it frames the object it seeks, could obfuscate your attempts to find answers.
Just because I can prefix it with a why, does not necessarily mean there has to be an answer.
Mostly, why-questions aren’t truly questions at all. They are expletives of ignorance.
Fire patterns of Why’s up into the air and try to follow their trail of unanswers. What shows up is the shouting voice of the questioner.
TS Eliot wrote,
‘The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless.’
Yes, you may reply. But what about the endless challenge and excitement of the questions, “Why”?
I say they are superficial, short-lived and excite only frustration. The more I know, the more I see I don’t know.
Humility never asked why.
Why is the answer to the origin of Life the Universe and Everything so intractable and so elusive?
It is dawning on some that ideas themselves are limited within our capacity to imagine what is at or beyond the boundaries of our conscious thought.
Our Human perspective or point of reference is, perhaps, eternally self-limiting.
We do not know what questions to ask perhaps because the perspective from which we begin to surmise and then set about trying to comprehend what “is”, is a perspective which can never visualise the wider perspective outside of itself of what “really is”.
I want my heart to be happy and at peace with the continuum it was born into and loves so much to be sharing with others.
For several decades, my heart’s wisdom has been ringing like a bell with the words from a poem I wrote in 1974. It has been chanting them back to me over and over,
“No question; answer is before”
I now listen to the voice of my heart, because the magic in these words feels so right every time my heart brings them back to me,
“No question; answer is before”
These words ease my aching mind, unlock my ability to surrender my will, and truly ‘make me lie down in green pastures, lead me beside quiet waters, refresh my soul.’

~ Love is present EveryNow