Apophatic ecstacy

My EveryNow blog developed and began in 2018 from a life-changing outburst of heart pouring and opening for me in 2013.

WWW.EVERYNOW.BLOG

In 2013 I was utterly confused. There were no old reference points. Everything was unfamiliar, new and untried.

I knew it as a strange, safe and beautiful place to be. Talk about “Lost for Words”! I couldn’t explain it. At first I could not tell anybody what was happening, for the simple reason that I could find no English vocabulary to describe it.

After weeks and months, with help from Soul friends and formal research, I sussed ‘up’ from ‘down’!

So then, what did I understand? Not a thing! I still understood nothing. Now I realise there’s nothing to understand. It’s all about being.

Understanding is simply another unnecessary step to work around.

With conscious effort, I have reintegrated into this new present time. It is continuing newness. When I am in the flux of newness unending, it’s like being aware all of the time that this present presents as unique, precious, sacred.

This all-consuming belief is strengthened every moment I glance around, take a step, hear a sound, even notice a passing thought. If you notice me smile as you go, this is what lights my smile.

You’d think these experiences of utter newness might destabilise, interfere, be bothersome. I am here to tell you it’s like being an inquisitive youngster who’s strolling through and residing in a vast fairground of wonderland.

I don’t feel special or ‘other’. I am grateful to be me, and in awe of living through the sequences of life events which whizz me around my personal pin-table.

Close friends in these last ten years, Soul friends as I call them, inspire, power and light me on this journey.

And now here I am. I’m on the way to be nowhere.

No place could seem more desirable right now than nowhere. Oh, to float, alert, connected and intimately present nowhere, EveryNow!