In love

In love

꧁  E❤️v🧡e💛r💚yN💙o💜w  ꧂

All my life I have rejected the offered set route. I have built on my lived experience. My lived experience continues to be my guide and my growing bedrock. This is because I am a person who has always conversed intensely with his interior self.

Some time after my epiphany of 2013, when I saw my own heart after my first Biodanza experiences blasted it open, I completely abandoned outcomes and I focused purely on the journey.

I had been in this state for many years previously, because I had isolated my true self behind defences. What hit me during my first intense Biodanza connections was the loss of my identity into the presence of another’s identity.

After these shock waves, I could only focus purely on the journey, because I had utterly lost all connection to previously acquired inner certainties I had assumed I could rely on as fixed and determined. I did not have any handholds or footholds to use as my guides.

The past had vanished in a flash. I could not use my past to understand what had happened to me, or where I was going, or even what manner of identity I could call my own. I knew only that this was obviously blissful and harmless.

What next? From 2013 onwards, all I had left was the journey. I asked questions of my friends in the Biodanza tribe. I researched through the Internet to try and understand what had happened to me. I shared where I was now with others who might help me understand this untrodden path.

Much later on, maybe four or five years later, I came to the understanding that there is nothing to arrive at, nothing to understand. This is my “Everything Is”, when the vastness of Acceptance beyond intellectual searching makes an ever widening landing stage to tread on. And so my journey never ends.

My days became filled not by my actions or by my intentions, but by an ever growing sense of validation in the moment. I had an overwhelming sense that I was living in a completely new space. Nothing was familiar.

Nothing I could choose to do had meaning any more, because I could find nothing from my lived past that shed light on where I was. All I had for certain was the feeling of a gentle but tangible joy, much like that indeterminate feeling of butterflies in the tummy when in love.

The big difference here, then and today, is that I am in love with everything, all of the time, and I have no single object of that love. This state of grace is almost beyond description. Its main quality is newness. Everywhere I go with my body and / or with my senses, my experiences are often like one recently hatched, who is endlessly surprised at the continual newness of it all.

The joy and the peace of it is unshakeably strong.

What once opened to me so long ago through the regular practice of Biodanza will remain open. Open now, it will never close.

It will be with me till my dying day.

“Journey” is my signature poem I wrote at that time.

꧁  E❤️v🧡e💛r💚yN💙o💜w  ꧂

JOURNEY

And my journey begins with my every breath

And the journey is my home

Love begins with every step of my journey

And love is in my home

Because love illuminates my journey

The journey is my dance

I love my journey

Because the dance never ends

So my journey is ever young

It is born, and born and born again