💠I am a time traveller🔷

💠 I am a time traveller 🔷

Crises shake me awake, so that I believe I have little choice but to pay attention and attempt to understand the storms, conflicts and extremes of opposing emotion that roil and boil inside me.

I know that the stirrings in me which crises cause are like clear waters suddenly made muddy. I know the dread of that vanished transparent calm where all was clear and simple to see.

The plateau of my heart’s ease, where grass is green, and no wind ruffles, is a gift to be accepted. The calm of uneventful days is like the sunshine on an airborne jet – I trust revolutions of power beyond my ken are churning on the inside, keeping me safe.

I accept the days of “nothing doing” are like when I neck the first drink of cool water in the morning. I absorb bright colourless refreshment in the certainty it will reach into my darkest roots.

But I also know to stand back from insisting to myself that I must thrash out sense and meaning out of turbulent emotions. Danger of death inside, or at the very least, the drear drag of continuing ignorance, is the reward for fruitless fight with my own shadows.

I have learned that the swirl of sediment that now blinds my view of where I am going is composed of mysterious particles!

These are the smashed up, mashed up micro fragments of old certainties.

I do not tread them into the dirt. They are more valuable than gold dust, more alive than my own breath, because, unlike mud which petrifies into rock on settling, I know they will recrystallise into brand new beauty.

My road which was secure is now blazing into a lava flow. My tears explode as they fall! My past mistaken faith in my own limited abilities have taught me to give up my Quixotic tilting at mental windmills. I trust that faith and unconditional hope in compassionate powers far stronger than any of my own will arrive, soothe me, and build my new spiritual bones.

I know I will give myself the gift of time, waiting in faith and trust. My roots are active, though I neither hear nor see the least motion.

This is how trees await Spring, and birds the Sunrise.

I will have stood aside and observed the swirls of pain in my chest. I will have felt them retch up my throat. I will have committed to memory the dried tears I see on my own face.

And, at the end of all of this, I will see walking towards me, with the magical mutual smiles of recognition spreading over both our faces, myself and I, as we fall into an embrace for the first time

~ Love is present EveryNow

Giggle

Email to a new Friend about to go travelling…

It’s Full Moon.

Where we come from is largely known to both of us solely from the personal presence shown by one to the other.

It is a transparently good place or I should not be writing you this.

The direction where we are going is a mutually encouraged movement which has all of the same attributes as those of a grand meal – expectation of savours, many unknown – but without any sense of fear or alienation.

Cleave to your journey, O pal.

Stay alert, record and share, discuss and digest.

Be open, humble, respectful of all you meet, judge none, avoid none, give full attention.

The butterfly effect operates only at such a distance that it is out of sight. Your smile is seen. You move on. That life-affirming energy aroused by your smile may engender springs of hope in individuals, families, cities, entire populations which you cannot and need not understand.

All you need to understand is that you have immense latent power. It is the power of choice to smile.

Turn away only from those whose minds have diverted far from life’s glory that they see only negation and fear. You do not need to be smeared, in mind, heart nor body.

Only see the myriad tiny things, because in the end our lives are upright and we survive only because we are intimately and eternally supported by the microcosm of everyday sublime simple beauty.

Never ever pass up the chance to giggle.

With love

As ever

My heart did beat with the same exquisite archeologist’s excitement

A paste diamanté broach, abalone, a big and a small Southbourne beach shell, a Guy Fawkes nite rocket cone, an aluminum (sic) cocktail stick, a fractured quartz crystal, a Psion Organiser motherboard, and all these are supporting cast to a precious shard of circa Victorian china with partial inscription.
62 years ago, two friends used to delve into a Victorian rubbish heap. This communal midden was only about two yards long by one yard wide. I never revisited it again. But I still keep its precise location in my head.
We discovered it on a field edge just over the hedge from a freshwater spring beside a farm labourer’s thatched cottage vegetable garden. This freshwater spring served the households in two cottages across from my parents cottage. It was one of six or seven thatched cottages which are shown on the map in the Domesday Book completed in 1086AD.
It is in a hamlet whose signposted name “Sedrup” is suffixed by the intriguing word “Only”. It is at the end of a winding single track lane, marked as a No Through Road where it branches off the A-road at a historic coaching inn.
The Lane, as we affectionately referred to it, is this No Through Road. It was where a flock of sheep were driven the half mile from the farm at the top to the grazing pasture of the lower farm. It used to be bordered by bountiful hazel bushes that filled the cottage wives’ wicker baskets in the autumn. It ends at a large, roughly oval open green, with the thatched dwellings scattered around it.
That green space, removed from traffic, much munched by comfortably bulky milking cows, used to be Commonland. The cottagers had the right to graze their donkey, horse or goats on it. We’d been told a donkey used to live in the barn portion of our own cottage. I remember the beaten earth floor and the faint smell of hay. In the early 1950’s my parents converted it into living space. The architect for the plans was my father’s brother, an FRIBA.
In the 1960’s, the farmer put up a barbed wire fence. The cows were thus prevented from accidentally wandering into the garden, an occasion for high drama. And the small boys and girls of this sleepy hamlet found they were cut off from the delights of insect-filled flowering grasses.
My Father petitioned and lost a well-argued claim to have this ancient Right Of Commons preserved. I still have the judgement document. It disappointed him greatly.
There is no vehicular way beyond the small collection of cottages. But a long straight Bridle path bordered by arable lands leads away towards views of the distant Chiltern Hills.
Fantastic adventures on this path! Discovery of sun-smelted cornfields, and mad March hares, incredible coloured butterflies, wonderful complicated hedge tangles, and cornflowers, crickets, small limestone fossils. My own voice and I, chatting to one another, and singing songs out loud, as loud as I pleased, singing out loud to the four winds!
In one of the thatches, with yardthick mud and wattle walls, I spent some of my earliest and most formative years. There was no electricity, no gas, and no running water. We drew water up in galvanised buckets from our garden well. My parents bought the pair of cottages in 1936.
Electricity arrived in early 1960. Mains gas and running water had still not been laid when I came to sell the cottages in 1982 in the year of my Father’s death.
My older pal, next door neighbour Graham, and I would search by hand for pretty pieces of broken crockery in the Victorian midden. Among these we found many fragments of blue Willow Pattern, a few mysterious mauve pieces whose colour deeply moved my boyish mind.

We unearthed broken stems of old white clay tobacco pipes, and decorative opaline glass shards.

But what we were both concentrated on unearthing was Gold! A very few broken plates, cups and saucers bore gold leaf trim. These and the other windfall were our currency and our Treasure Trove.
The name my ‘Splendid’ Graham friend and I gave to this old midden was “The Gold Field”.
We boxed our finds. We kept them close. I came across my hoard recently in an old SMA baby milk powder tin. It had remained close through at least six home relocations over six decades.
Until the day of Heike Jenkin’s art workshop “Recreating Reality” on December 10th 2016, in Southbourne-on-Sea, I had not set eyes on the inscribed fragment (pictured) for 62 years.
As I glued it in place on my canvas, my heart did beat with the same exquisite archeologist’s excitement of that young boy so very many brilliant summers gone by
~ Love is present EveryNow

↪📵B⚠D🚫↩

⚠Bad News⚠
Odd, isn’t it?
The swaying grasses,
the colours of flowers,
the rustling bushes,
the upgrowing trees,
all of the busy tiny creatures,
those birds, these bees.
💚 Absolutely none have been stilled
by The Bad News!
If I want to feel freedom’s wild kisses,
if I truly want to snuggle close
to my original self,
I walk out.
I walk far out of reach of the news…
and as I go, I cast smiles and catch smiles
💚 Smile! This is the Big Green
The news about all our human doings
Is of no consequence whatsoever
to the birds and the beetles.
💚 Their headline news, their editorial,
all the way down to the stop press,
is about the ecology
right and left
seen and unseen.
💚 I am always welcomed in the Big Green
to observe with love and respect
the sweetly earnest business of survival.
💚 Here calm runs up to me,
from my left,
from my right,
to hold me by my hands
~ Love is present EveryNow 💚

a happy ripple in a continuum of life

My state is open and aware and quiet.

The self I call “I” is a flat calm transparent natural boundary. Clear water is deep down, air is deep up.

The surface is almost colourless, without ripple or feature. It extends without horizon, but never leaves my sight.

In such a state I can ride and stay in balance during the time I am presented in the here and now with thoughts, feelings, distractions and discomfort.

Here, from my surface I offer this.

It is through my extraordinary journey of unanticipated heart awakening, around the time I began the regular practice of Biodanza in February 2013, that I know I can fully access healing. That, together with other understandings related to identification of ancient hurts and the resolution of previously unrecognised confusions, have granted my awareness of myself the opportunity of expansion and room in which to expand.

As I become self-aware, aware of the sanctity of the gift of life being lived and experienced more and more abundantly, so in equal measure I value the gift of life in relation to other living sentient beings.

What comes from living in such a new and richly jewelled life is a greater gratitude than I have ever known. It has far reaching implications on my remaining days of life. It is the ever-growing understanding that my life is not a discrete occurrence only in me. I am a pixel of humanity, and life is living through all things and beings, sentient and not sentient.

I am a happy ripple in a continuum of life. Life lives me as I live life.

Here’s the thing… Nothing has changed! Everything is utterly different and constantly completely new! The newness is “EveryNow”.

I begin. My journey of exploration and discovery begins all over again from the very start every moment. Nothing existed in the previous instant of this awareness of existence to guide me to where I am. At any given moment, I look forward with barely containable excitement to the certainty of discoveries in the moment following.

I think of it like this. For the first fifty years I had been “Living to Love”, which is decorous, pretty, even beautiful, but it is an existence limited by inconsequential superficiality.

As my heart awakes and presents its face towards me to greet me, my heart starts “Loving to Live”.

This is the wholesome, plain and simple adoption of the richly textured reality of here and now, of “EveryNow”.

I am no longer secreted away in a place of safety of my own elaborate construction, but I go shining with gratitude and wonder at the mere fact of being vital and alive.

This is a state of being which is totally raw, exposed and vulnerable, but simultaneously full of living courage, and naked certainty.

Unencumbered by fear, my state of being can freely develop in its self-expression in the knowledge that it has its permanent residence in the secure environment of the heart’s pure and spectacular peace.

We are all capable of healing.

It’s about trusting love to come into close contact inside my most personal sacred space, and knowing that there, in that serene place of peace, I can heal.

We all just can

~ Love is present EveryNow

Moon-grace come !

Full Moon – harbinger over my seaside home village – shows the way to abundant forgiveness,

plain truths of heart’s love,

desire,

and the plenishments of the fruit of gratitude.

Full Moon – risen so many times over my seaside home village – lights up every thing.

Her rays flume with a nameless unearthly dignified contact…

extra Awe-dinary’

Surfeit? Surf it!

Surfeit? Surf it!

“The greatest difficulty
is the mental resistance
to things that arise,
and the underlying assumption
that they should not.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

… ° …

One of the ever-present sweetnesses available to us is to cast a compassionate glance towards the chaotic and the frenetic and the inexplicable.

Then to look inwards at the heart’s own orderly equanimity and to see no divide, no boundary, but a standing-wave, a crest of peace.

❤️

From Breath to Love

From Breath to Love – A guided meditation

TUESDAY 25th SEPTEMBER was the monthly Breathwork session “From Breath to Love – Conscious Breathing Circle” held by Karolina Mikulicz here in our home town.

When I arrived, I was the only one attending! So we agreed to have a 1-2-1 session.

After what happened to me in the last fortnight, I was in a state of high sensitivity and receptivity. I may share in another piece of writing, when I feel to gather the story together. It’s enough to say I had begun to make preparations in the last few days in the light of reasonable cause to believe the days of my life were numbered. It transpires that I am in no such danger. This is relief that I compare to being hit by a ton of bricks.
Karolina is, to me, wise far beyond her young years. Knowing how she has assimilated the healthy therapeutic effects of her own daily Breathwork practice over many years, I have come to have complete confidence in her skills as guide and facilitator. We always reach deep when we work together.
So, to be brief, (a tricky skill for me!) an obscuring chunk of cliff face fell away… almost all resistance due to fear melted away as if under high intensity radiation.
In the course of this evening’s guided Breathwork I found my core being, I call it: my unchanging awareness. I found my unfractionated identity, I see it as a white transparency with no material substance yet having the form of a swan’s body and whose being is available in maximal energy to enfold with arms, protect without limit or condition, to imbue me with life-power while not at all concealing or covering me.
In 1977, I had come face-to-face with this core essence of my being with the common descriptor being a white-hot kernel. The image of a light concentrated into white heat had arrived then. During my awakening in 2013, and ever since, up till today, the vision of awareness of my own heart has been of an orange-gold glow in my heart space.
In summer 1977, I entered a period of pain and incomprehension, and an involuntary process began. One by one, layers of self identity fell away from me. I felt with great alarm that I was soon to lose my sanity. At length all that was left of this 31 year old man, of his certainty and his received assumptions about himself was reduced to a white-hot molten pool resting immobile at the bottom of a huge immovable crucible.
Today’s “Real”isation arrived as a direct effect of having been able to release all vestiges of fear of trying and seeking by walking in the bravery of trust and innocent belief in the total support of the earth under me and the clean oxygen I fill my lungs with.
Something changed tonight.
There was no upheaval and certainly no pain. Pain comes only as an equal and opposite reaction to resistance. Abandon of resistance and its replacement with the gentleness of compassion and a childlike humility is what characterised the session this time. Karolina threw at me unanswerable questions. She stayed, guided and was by my side. I responded from my truth.
Later, at the end, we talked. This is how I tried to make clear what had changed inside during the latter part of our working session. A sacred chant that I remember I had sung before, and whose Sanskrit words I had learned, had been playing in the background. I was not the listener with this music in my ears. The music was playing me and my hearing was the music playing. The music was playing in me. I was conscious of not being the listener. I had no involvement in the joining of the music with my hearing.
A blending took place that I was fully aware of as it happened. I have entered a fusion between my core original self and the sensory experience of the material World around me.
Here I can not go all the way with words to describe this. I was totally receptive to the music while not needing to make any conscious effort at distinguishing it as musical sounds to which I was paying attention. The effect was of music happening in the way my blood happens to circulate in my body. The music was involuntarily musical in me. This utterly new experience was welcome and most lovely. I felt with all my senses and all my awareness the freshness of it.
With this clearing, whatever happens next, my lack of fear of my own death has received a big boost.
Karolina suggested I write up about this session. My thanks to Karolina takes the form of this short description.

Dismal

Dismal Southbourne

The heat of summer,

the dazzle have done a runner.

The vacant hands of after dusk seem to say,

Turn away.

But in this street,

with autumn near and summer far,

Mine eyes see a glimpse of Shangri-la

*The rest is history*

* The rest is history *
I just saw Mr. Peter Kornfeld, aka “Korny”, in my old school magazine. I had not set eyes on the image of this redoutable man for over half a hundred years. Korny was my Latin master and Fourth Form master in 1959, the year I arrived at boarding school.
At the end of that year, Korny took me into his Latin classroom. The one at the bottom left of the quadrangle block, with the giant immovable Wellingtonia outside, sometimes targeted for knife throwing. Mr. Tipping’s Physics lab was next room up. The massive and tuneless Break Bell was rung vigorously by hand just outside.
Suddenly, awkwardly, I and he were all alone. With unusual delicacy he began to break his bad news.
It had been noted that my early rapid academic progress and promise (I had arrived freshly “crammed” from a Chelsea Prep School) had stuttered, stopped and gone into reverse. Of course I knew all this. After all, my Preparatory school was boys only. They had not prep’d me for girls.
In grave and alarmingly uncharacteristic kindly tones, he explained that I would have to do the whole year again. It meant covering the same ground, and my group, my friends, would go on up to Group Five and higher things without me.
I could see I needed to help Korny out in his difficult mission.
I summoned up a superhuman degree of self-control over my facial expression and I stamped down hard on my body language.
Korny was descended from illustrious Roman gladiators. They ate lion for breakfast. His was not a shoulder to cry on.
Korny was relieved. I walked out into the fresh air and allowed my tense face to relax.
I was frankly overjoyed. Who was it in Group Three, who would now be in my Group Four? Why, it was the amazing Christine !

RIVER ~ ’74 & ’14

RIVER ~ ’74 & ’14
Do I know where I am, or even
When he, she, anyone were last
On the same stretch of the river?
There is energy enough in the water
To answer these questions,
To take me back and forth.
The warp and weft of time.
Summer and winter come and go.
See the sense of season.
Sleep naked of reason.
The waters stray through fingers.
Willow leaves lie languid.
Sustenance is gained
From above as from below.
Royal fisher, kingfisher,
A bubble in your wake awoke
No quest, answer is before.
I do not call these spirals.
The river finds its own level.
Time hovers.
Young love’s stasis.
Summers and winters
Come and go
In a stitch in time
Are born new clouds
That might glut glebe
Fresh in the morning
Of a ploughman’s nightmare
Old soil is new soil
In the dark seed’s eye.
Sleep naked of reason.
When I was last this way
Void crashed in to stay.
When I was last here,
The net gain was fear.
But the hellhounds have lost my spoor,
And love sweet love waits at my door
~.~

Some centuries ago near Tollard Royal

“Dull sublunary lovers’ love…” from The Kiss, by John Donne

This tree has begun to take root with me.

I’d taken some wrong turns on my solo hike. I began to find my bearings again. I was about a mile from a pretty stone-built village with a church, bus shelter and a public phone, where I’d agreed to rendezvous with a man at the end of his day’s golf at Tollard Royal for a lift back to the Compasses Inn, Tisbury. It was in 2013.

Following my nose, not any path, I descended from a ridge. I called to a young man seated in the yard of a huge farmhouse, and I asked the way to the village. He was well spoken. The impressive building was clearly centuries old.

I thanked him and about a half mile further and 50 yards off and to the left of the single track tree-lined lane stood the majestic tree in this photo.

The sense of its obvious undamaged longevity, its benign warmth and silent fertility, made me direct all of my attention to it. The afternoon was a hot one. A mare and her foal were standing in the shade nearby.

I caught something of its own ancient yet fresh pleasure at being safe and well for so very long in this particular place.

Five years later, I took the time to scrutinise Google Maps. I used Terrain and Satellite view on my smartphone. I followed remembered landmarks, beginning with the golf course near Tollard Royal, where my lift was coming from.

With the confirmation of Street View, and recall of the scenes I had paused to photograph in the little village, in under an hour I had located my tree!

It stands halfway between Berwick St John and the ancient farmhouse, which sits at the foot of a ridge – part of a watershed valley – at the end of Woodland Lane.

I cannot forget the friendliness I felt during the short time we were in each other’s company.

I long to say hallo again. Now I know I can. The round trip by bus from Bournemouth will take only half a day.

… … …

Here on a sunny day, 25 Feb, five-and-a-half years later, the story continues…

The weather and the auguries are propitious for undertaking the public transport journey.

I got off the bus at 2:30 on this Monday in the charming little village of Berwick St John, whose pub, the Talbot, is unfortunately closed Mondays.

The bus timetable allows three hours to find and re-friend my tree, some ten minutes walk away.

Alas, poor tree. Last year’s winter blasted and blew down its majestic crown. I look on reluctant to believe this is the same tree.

We all react to dramatic news with a spasm of disbelief. I see no limbs on the grass flood plain, no branch litter. With care the estate workers have removed them all. It is beyond doubt my tree, or its remnant, that is marking time here now.

We spend a while keening together. All is change.

I climb two fences, and make my way uphill to a circle of ancient beeches standing out on top of perhaps a man-made tumulus.

Here is a new bench, and surprisingly an unmarked, freshly dug grave. The occupant has a panoramic view over his estate.

I learn later, from “Pontibus”, my impeccably courteous lift, a teacher of Latin to ecclesiastics hereabouts, that the large vase of white lilies is Anka Dineley’s tribute to her beloved husband, Peter, recently deceased.

Indeed, after admiring the view for a short while from the heights of this sacred grove – surely it is a tumulus – I meet Widow Dineley. She has climbed here to tend to the grave, and we shared a moment of respect for the dead.

Among the photos I took on this Sun-filled early spring day, full of the signs of returning life, was one of the ground at my feet near this grave.

Shotgun cartridges, green and red, were trodden into the ground by those who had come here to gain the advantage of height against their prey.

Later that day I came to see the whole picture. This day of presence in solitude and solitary witness showed to me yet again both strident and subtle signs of the changes in every place I tread, in every horizon’s direction I am drawn to by my seven decades of gazing.

With the sun going down, I hitch-hiked the sparse traffic in both directions, rather than wait more than an hour for the last bus to Salisbury.

Along the dozen miles to Nunton, my driver and I exchanged brief lives in the delicate, age-old customary codes of respect between travelling strangers.

I was told the farm and its large estate lands I had stumbled across so long ago was owned by Francis and Peter Dinely, long-time important actors in this country stage. Peter, a member of this old, respected land-owning family, is now mourned by his widow.

The tree is toppled, reduced all suddenly from its former nobility by the winds of time.

The chalk downland landscape here, with its life-cycle complement of trees, boundary stones, archeology of the Mesolithic, Neolithic and Bronze Ages, carries its prehistoric ramparts and funerary mounds like music notes scored on the earth.

Slower than a giant’s breath, the notes are being rearranged, muted, and reconstructed by the decades.

The stone boxes people live in are changing season by season, as the new inhabitants sing the old songs according to melodies unrecognisable to those at rest under their hallowed ground.

My tree friend is still my friend. We will remain linked. Our separate life cycles are forever united.

We are both a little more blasted. We have changed together. These felled angels are not to be pitied, they do not look to us to possess a life they do not own.

This land echoes to the orchestration of universal country sounds familiar to every ancestor. The soundscape of humility and gratitude for living – cawing crows, piping robins, wildfowl screech, siffle of hovering hawk.

What we share in common, with tacit friendliness my tree and I, is the sacred sweet precession – the continuum of change.

~ Love is present EveryNow

A simple time traveller

*I am a time traveller*

Crises shake me awake, so that I have little choice but to pay attention and attempt to understand the storms, conflicts and extremes of opposing emotion that roil and boil inside me.
I know that the stirrings in me which crises cause are like clear waters suddenly made muddy. I know the transparent calm where all was clear and simple to see is gone.
The plateau of my heart’s ease, where grass is green, and no wind ruffles, is a gift to be accepted.
The calm of uneventful days is like the sun that shines on a jet plane – I am to trust revolutions of power beyond my understanding and voluntary control are churning, burning, and keeping me safe on the inside.
I accept the days of ‘nothing doing’ in the same way I down the first drink of cool water in the morning. I absorb bright colourless refreshment certain it will reach into my darkest roots.
But I also know to stand back from insisting to myself that I must thrash out sense and meaning out of turbulent emotions. Death inside, or at the very least continuing ignorance, is the reward for panicky reactions where I am drawn in to fruitless fights with my own shadows.
I know that the swirl of sediment that now blinds my view of where I am going is composed of mysterious particles.
These are the smashed up, mashed up micro fragments of old certainties!
They are more valuable than gold dust, more alive than my own breath, because, unlike mud which petrifies into rock on settling, I know will recrystalise into brand new beauty.
My road was secure. But now it is blazing into a lava flow. My tears explode where they fall!

My old road will rearrange and recrystallise to recreate – like resolidified titanium – my new spiritual bones.

I know I will give myself the gift of time, waiting in faith and trust. I am 100% calm, because I have confidence that the primordial roots of my origins are active, though I have not the least intimation of their motion, intention or direction.
This is how trees await Spring, how birds the Sunrise, and it is how “old earth is new earth in the dark seed’s eye”.
I will have stood aside and observed the swirls of pain in my chest. I will have felt them retch up my throat. I will have committed to memory the dried tears I see on my own face.
And, at the end of all of this, I will see walking towards me, with the magical mutual smiles of recognition spreading over both our faces, myself and I, as we fall into an embrace for the first time.
~ Love is present E v e r yN o w

Mystery of EveryNow

What is this innocence?
I see it everywhere.
It flows with
visible invincibility.
A newborn wild animal
looks at me.
Twin acceptances of awe.
Everything happens
Differentiation occurs
It is observed in the EveryNow.
The joy and the beauty of the EveryNow I am bathed in
— and which I share with sentient life and with nonliving elements —
are ecstacies
that flame up
from my perception
from the vortex of axiom
seen only by my newborn eye
they honour me with the vision of the burning ungraspable plasma
The mystery of EveryNow
~ Love’s presence EveryNow

The Biodanza effect. Do I dare to hope?

The Biodanza effect. Do I dare to hope?
For those who regularly practice Biodanza – and I am one of some few hundred thousand every week in dozens of different countries – there is a sense of coming home attaching to the word Mindfulness.
From way back, when I began to reflect on the big questions, up to today, I will almost daily catapult my mind into the Now by reference to the notion of my own death. It is a cleansing act which sharpens my gratitude and my wonder for being me being alive in this moment – right here now.
It’s with my regular practice of Biodanza that I am becoming accustomed to the practice – not only the idea – of living my daily life more and more ‘in the Moment’.
That’s to say I am going about the business of my days without tripping up over selfconscious self-referential thoughts. Less and less do I feel the need to question my motives, still less do I bother to direct my thoughts in at myself, where there’s a treadmill for thoughts with nothing better to do than trudge round and around.
What takes my mind away from mental closed circuits today is my gratitude for the pleasures of inclusive warm comradeship I feel from my fellow Biodancers.
Yes, I might still be lonely in my days and nights, but my friends in the Dance of Life have reflected my natural inner joy back to me from their integrity and respect and unconditional trust.
In Biodanza, something as simple as feeling joyful can be revealed as depending on nobody around me. I can see that the joy in the eyes of a partner in the dance spells out happiness all by itself. His or her joy doesn’t depend on me. It arises between us in the shared act of dance. We recognise it is our naked flame of humanity which each has made possible to reveal to the other in the unguarded intimacy of our moments of communion.
Biodanza to me is a spritual reawakening and a growth in potential of the whole person through wordless self expressive freestyle movement, mediated through music, under expert guidance and in the companionship of others whose integrity and trust is strong, explicit and bonding.
I have not dared to hope that Biodanza will always continue to reveal more subtleties of innerscape, more outward expanses of conscious joy, more awareness of the same upward spiralling awakening in those all around me.
I had not dared to hope until I asked Natasha, who has some eight years’ Biodanza. She says it’s perfectly clear that the beneficial effect goes on getting higher, deeper, broader both on the inside and out, and it will never end.
I’m reminded of the illusion of those lonely parallel tracks. In the experience of Busy-busy living, when I think I am alone on the path, I blink, look around and see others on parallel paths. As we face the horizon, all our different divergent paths converge, merge and blaze together in a revitalising sunrise. Or sunset.
Glory glory!