The beauty of connection to your heart

Infinity – the Permanent Invitation

“Feel the peace and beauty of connecting to your heart…”

I am always of the belief that it is possible to walk “through” the Stargate portal and to have an insight so immediate and all pervasive that your pain and hurt, every trace, drops away, and at last you can “let it be”.

This is an insight into love absolute, a place, a real place, where fear evaporates before it can take shape.

You must know I have had the good fortune to pass through some form of Stargate portal. To reach here, I had to have lived more than a handful of decades, to have retired, and to have experienced release from over 40 years of the nine-to-five treadmill.

I have undergone several epiphany experiences, closely accompanied by some shining, new, rare and true Soulfriends.

Before you arrive in the presence of such a magic portal, it’s likely you’ll still need to arrive at more journey destinations on the way.

You will need the Companionship of Time. Time to see the places you visit for their unidentifiably curious, fluid flowing shapes as they take root inside you. Time to tear down overgrown undergrowth, so you can see yourself clearly in the old stations of the journey.

The Companionship of Time is what you’ll need to allow the real significance of your arrivals and departures to carve deep grooves from which ancient tears are released. It will be necessary to allow their springs of redemption to overflow into your present you for the first time.

Only by touching courageous naked feet fearlessly onto invisible stepping stones such as these will you understand your leaden ankle weights and dragged shackles represent nothing so much as illusions.

Released, you will walk tall, and it’ll be the walk of your life!

The structures that have become so vital to the security and safety of your known self and to which you have devoted so much energy in their construction and maintenance, these are structures you have become accustomed to handle in a conscious, deliberate and deliberative way. You have framed them in finite phrases, as for example: “weights and shackles”.

Just like you, I know you can always stand in the light of your own being at a moment’s notice.

You may be moved to seek help, and find it with an intermediary.

You may find the light of your being homes in on you of its own accord, with the searchlight beam of your own unsuspected, unexpected lighthouse.

This can shock, startle and even perplex you.

You may be faced with a choice.

Do you accept the fact that your soul is staggeringly beautiful? Do you accept that your own heart beats out love-songs of praise and glory to you?

Or do you opt to refute the experience, and in doing so tell yourself platitudes handed down to you from the bland limp phrasebook of socially acceptable conformity?

This encounter with the happening magnificence of your being has not any words to enscribe, describe or circumscribe it. It’s yours before question or answer.

I say the nature of our being is independent of question or answer.

You have already entered many times into wordless wonder of living. You know it as an extreme that happens extremely.

You are far closer than you can begin to imagine to the shimmering entrance portal through which the glories of living are too intense for words of any kind.

The space, the extremely real place, perhaps the only reality, and which ever glows at a constant brightness, (“bright” is peace and “ness” is love), is the directly lived experience, the Now.

Now is not a mere moment. Now is every moment, suffused to saturation with infinitudes of beginninglessness and endlessness – I call it EveryNow.

EveryNow exists complete, without reference to a frame of words. EveryNow exists in completeness, independent of whether it is thought of, or sought after.

EveryNow exists completely and it is unaffected by being ignored, or overlooked either by negligence or on purpose.

Blink, and you can find yourself in it… it in you.

All you need is to be ready. Ready for the invitation.

Beginning having no end; end having no beginning

If you give any of what I describe a modicum of credence, then your best tribute to it, and to your own innate beauty, and to your instinct of self-preservation, is to be ready.

You owe it even to your inner conviction, your most privately held personal view that the invitation to EveryNow is but a schmaltzy, superfluous, rose-scented pink cloud, to be ready.

The way to get close enough to the magic of EveryNow, so that it can guzzle you all up into its roseate field, is to be prepared and ready to accept its invitation card: Infinity.

Infinity invites everyone all the time with EveryNow.

Wakefulness is as precious as sleep. Remember sleep arrives bearing a unique gift. Sleep sleeps close to infinity. Sleep is a hallowed gift. Wrap yourself in it with respect, give yourself into its mystery.

Sleep well, dear Heart

Love is

the answer

to which

no question exists

THE ODD THING ABOUT ACCIDENTS

A cardboard box was in the middle of the pavement. I kicked at it. My leg fell into the coal hole whose cover had been removed. I had to go and have stitches to the cut.

This was 1974. I had come out of my rented flat near Gloucester Road Tube, in West London. I have no doubt I had been pranked and cruelly so.

Any person walking there on that day could have been the one injured. The key to it is in the “could have been”. The future perfect conditional is the closest description of my accident. It was waiting to happen to me. The part I played in it was really rather incidental.

When people say, “Everything happens for a reason”, I disagree. In the universe of time, I say, “Everything happens!” Simply because happenings happen, their sufficiency is self-contained. The richness of the moment of what happens floods my consciousness with joys unending.

The list of circumstances which set me up for this fall is as lengthy and varied as those which could equally have existed and resulted in no fall at all.

I can easily call to mind incidents (a nice neutral word) in which I was involved in road accidents, as the driver, as a passenger, or a pedestrian. My gratitude at having survived these few occasions of danger has close similarities to my gratitude for waking up safe and well every new day among my family and friends.

What chain of consequences might have followed after I kicked that cardboard box in 1974? My tibia could have fractured, causing immediate, severe pain. Poor medical treatment or infection could have left me with deformity or walking instability, and my life might have changed forever.

None of this happened. The point is that I almost never think back to that day. When I go there, I give no thought to what might have been. I never think about the person who set up the trap.

Where is this train of thought about events of a life threatening nature leading me, I wonder?

in my EveryNow blog posts, I write without dissembling or self-delusion about revisiting and rediscovering my time as a baby, child and adolescent.

I have come across no factors in my history which severely warped or misdirected my ability to maintain my identity and to lead a full productive life.

This life my parents constructed for me was primed for my safety and security. I cannot claim against them or blame them for laying foundations of my life based on anything other than human goodness and compassion.

I now understand I was equipped in rudimentary ways which I would not have been fully aware of as I entered the age of reason and self-awareness, to cleave to the source of my own humanity, compassion and inner peace.

My core being had never been subject to threat or ill-treatment. Curiously enough, that fact felt like a disadvantage when I compared myself to my peers, some of whom were savvy and street wise, one or two even street fighters.

I had periods of deep depression in my early 20s. I was hospitalised. My parents great fear was that I might lose my independent ability as an adult to take care of my basic needs.

Today I am retired. In the foreseeable future I see nothing stands in the way of a healthy married life, with children, grandchildren and more loyal friends than at any previous time in my life.

I see no single factor or event in my life story which prevented me from falling into ruin, whether physical ruin or psychological degradation.

In 1965, I wonder what held me back from refusing my girlfriend’s offer of shooting up her heroin? Caution, cowardice, informed fear? All of these.

In 1982, I was confronted by a massive and tragic life altering situation. I had clear choices. I could give up trying to fight my side for my future, not ask for help, and walk away. Without doubt I would have reverted to being a nobody, wretched and diminished perhaps for life.

Faced with a clear and present danger, I fought as hard as I knew how to fight. Against the odds, I saved myself and others from the brink of a disaster whose consequences would have damaged at least three lives, possibly beyond repair.

Nature affects the assumptions I make about the frames of reference I am equipped with. Nurture affects how I allocate and deploy the choices I make according to what I believe is best for myself and others.

I’m talking about the cultivation of a belief system linked to my personal view of the world I live and move around in, in relation to the most sacred centre of my integrity.

I have been composing my EveryNow blog posts and showing them on my Facebook pages since 2018. I now have readers in roughly 30 countries.

EveryNow speaks for itself. The belief systems that it relies on and navigates by come from never ending sources of ancient established spirituality. I hardly know what labels apply. The structures owe their existence to Zen, Taoism, Apophatic Mysticism, and to good old Powers of Positive Thinking, amongst others.

My story about the lessons I’ve learned from the Cardboard Box episode shows me that I have nothing that is specially of my own making to impart to the world.

I don’t intend to convert, or evangelise. My day to day, moment to moment intense experience of being alive and in Life, so heightened by my sudden unforeseen heart openings of 2013 — the Year of my Life — continue to need sharing to the best of my ability.

I proffer no message, hold out no quick fix. I am convinced that the epiphanies I have lived are available as positive transformative experiences to other people.

I am so graced by the massive shifts in my life, I will not ignore them, nor keep them to myself.

I am just this guy with his blog and the delicious sense of being on fire with love flames that burn, burn, and consume nothing. I am not about promotion. I am about sharing at high visibility with maximum openness.

I hope my readers will be motivated to read on, when they strongly feel that life in any formulation or format is worth continuing to live and enjoy EveryNow

~ Love is present EveryNow

Enjoy

The purpose of my walks is to receive and fully live in enjoyment step by gentle step whatever the season.

Where does enjoyment come from? What conditions of being help enjoyment to filter into human awareness?

We can enjoy when physical constraints, pre-existing barriers, or other claims on our attention are not present, or when we gently accept to set these aside.

When superficial distraction is not the focus, that is when the delicate basis of our most sacred inner space receives light and space necessary to expand, as is its nature.

Humans share with other sentients similar qualities of our inner sacred space, such as inborne peace and love.

When we are open to flow peace and love outwards and inwards simultaneously, our human senses are primed, not only with the usual urgency needed for survival, but as participant witnesses to the omnipresent constant intensity that is everywhere.

When we become aware of whence we came and where we are all to return, EveryNow is balm, haven and sanctuary

~ Love is present EveryNow

🌱See it, sing it, dance it❤️

🌱 See it, sing it, dance it with courage ♥️

The peace I have arrived at, the peace that has arrived in me, that has ‘found’ me will not leave me for reasons of illness or misery.

Our origin is love. Our hearts are constituted out of pure love.

I came to this real understanding age 67, and I recognise this is peace that bypasses understanding.

Before I had awareness, love gave my conscious being form, much as a flame gives a candle purpose. I am now the guardian of my flame which I nourish and care for by the simple act of breathing!

Yes, all the time it feels fragile, the same way the feeling of ‘being in love’ is more delicate than any butterfly.

My experience of aliveness, though blissful, is constantly in a state of flux, connected to everything by vast rhythms and tides to places so far out of sight as to be unimaginable.

So when I try to define my life’s force in words, or dance, or music, it does not resist me, neither can it escape me, because it is me.

Oh! And it can sometimes turn towards me and light me with a smile of a beautiful person whose gaze I meet, and I am melted clean.

It may feel fragile, but fragile it is not! In everyday reality this peace I know in my heart and mind is as strong and as permanently present as gravity.

The peace is alive inside.

It is inextinguishable, simply because love is inextinguishable, and we are love.

Every

single one of us

is Love

always

~ Love is present EveryNow

Choices

There are so many layers to the exercise of choice. I can choose! That is a first. I can choose to go. That’s an adventure beginning. I can choose to go with the flow, to disturb nothing when I arrive, to be one among the passing breezes.

And I can choose to know my footfall is noticed by no one and nothing at the shores of time, like my smile to myself in the dark just before sleep overtakes my sore heart!

It’s Zen-like. When I step back from the sharp end and I choose to grasp at nothing, with the careful and compassionate exercise of choice, in the end peace arrives.

Peace takes up residence at my head and feet. I know it’s present, because it loudly makes zero demands of space or time.

As I stand at the sandy shores of peace, do I know if I am the one who watches the ripples rippling? Am I the ripples? My heart cannot be doing with such questions, when it is rippling with love unending 🕊️

~ Love is present E v e r yN o w

🌹Love with no object of love to love🌹

🌹Love with no object of love to love🌹

I find a lot of peace rises in me as I begin working in our little patch of green garden.

I am rested.

These days, if I have no physical stress, such as fatigue, my state of inner stillness comes in closer. And I only have to turn my attention inwards to feel that same old Butterflies in the Tummy of being in love!

This was the state of being I entered, during my first experiences of Biodanza, and, with the witness of some shining soulfriends, I underwent an excavation which openly revealed my naked heart to me and to others way back in 2013, a year I call the “Year of my Life”.

I have grown to recognise this feeling of being permanently in love as a state of Grace. I am vaguely curious to find similar people who can “swap notes” about it with me. But I have begun to think that analysis or the naming of objects won’t change anything for me, nor will it show me anything new.

The state I entered into in the Year of My Life was propelled there by a number of emotional shocks or Epiphanies, which I have written up elsewhere on my EveryNow blog.

My emotional landscape is characterised by an illogical sense of continual and continuing newness.

Illogical, because a new awareness or new experience of feelings generally subsides over time, and the outlines decay to take on the perspective of something old, of something like “been there, done that”.

There is nothing old hat about my emotional state whenever I touch into my heart and feel the love. I cannot detect anything I can refer to as, “Oh, yes those finished and tidied away things over there!”

This puzzles me when I think about it. But that’s as far as it goes when I hold it up to examine it.

In fact, the place I have reached inside is like a wide open feeling of shared universal connection when walking a forest trail. Wide open, yes, except it’s “bigger on the inside than the outside”.

With my most sacred space being all filled up, comes a perception of pure energy, disembodied and unrelated to spatial position.

Where good fiction is made believable by a suspension of disbelief, so the sense of being in love in isolation from and absolutely removed from any object for the love, takes on the form of a belief.

Like a participant in an audience at a dramatic presentation, my sensation of this love is high intensity, at high volume, yet peaceful, without forcefulness.

So, on every occasion when I touch into my heart, I acknowledge the presence of it all over again. And of course, with the freshness of a love renewed daily, it feels like it’s here now for the very first time!

Being thus reassured of its presence deeply inside, I put thoughts of questioning aside and get on with things.

I cannot grasp it, because it is not something I need to take or possess. Anyhow, it doesn’t have any attributes of possession.

For most of my adult life, I have navigated some fixed stars, with maxims I created, like:

“Love is the answer to which no question exists”,

“No question; answer is before”

“Summer and winter come and go

See the sense of season

Sleep naked of reason.

Old soil is new soil

In the dark seed’s eye”

What has opened in me links back to one or other of these concepts, and these in turn link back to key events and crossroads in my earlier life.

In turn, I track back along centuries of striving and surviving, trillions of gene iterations, through interstellar dust lanes hustling potential, to the beginning of beginnings.

How do you feel when you’re in love?

Your mind will take you eventually or immediately towards the object of your affection.

What has arrived in me, intense love, quenches every last residue of fear. The awareness of such love is self sustaining. It feels like perpetual motion eternally safe !

This place. This place of perpetuity, where the perception exists of itself, and in sole occupation of the heart of loving!

The only way I have to begin to describe it is to see how it belongs.

It belongs to itself alone.

At the same time, the only other two ways to express it are to sing or scream out loud like a frantic teenager, or to go share the joy, in every possible way I have learned how to, with all those who do have ears and eyes.

Exactly as I believe do you, dear Reader!

~Love is present EveryNow

Love with no object of love to love

I worked in the garden for some hours after breakfast. It’s satisfying to see the patch of bare, sieved earth I prepared a few weeks ago now sprouting up and up! These will be the mixed Wildflowers and Traditional Meadow Grasses which I ordered when lockdown began.

I find a lot of peace rises in me as I begin working in our little patch of green.

Today would have been the first day of Colourfest 2020. Several friends say this outdoor Dorset festival was their top favourite. They are posting warm and warming memories on Facebook.

I am rested. I find these days that if I have no physical stress, such as fatigue, my state of inner stillness comes in closer. And I only have to turn my attention inwards to feel that same butterflies in the tummy of being in love!

The state I entered into in the Year of My Life was propelled there by a number of emotional shocks or Epiphanies, which I have written up elsewhere on my EveryNow blog.

My emotional landscape is characterised by an illogical sense of continual and continuing newness.

Illogical, because a new awareness or new experience of feelings generally subsides over time, and the outlines decayed to take on the perspective of something old, of something like “been there, done that”.

This puzzles me when I think about it. But that’s as far as it goes when I hold it up to examine it.

In fact, the place I have reached inside I compare to the experience for a pair of good friends who are out strolling in companionable mindful wonder along an ancient forest trail. It is a wide open feeling of shared universal connection.

As the well-known saying goes from the Doctor Who series to explain the TARDIS inexplicable hyper-lightspeed time travel capabilities, “the TARDIS is bigger on the inside than the outside”.

With my most sacred space being all filled up, comes a perception of pure energy, disembodied and unrelated to spatial position. Where good fiction is made believable by a suspension of disbelief, so the sense of being in love in isolation from and absolutely removed from any object for the love, takes on the form of a belief.

Like a participant in an audience at a dramatic presentation, my sensation of this love is high intensity, at high volume, yet peaceful, without forcefulness.

So, on every occasion when I touch into my heart, I acknowledge the presence of it all over again (and of course it feels like it’s here now for the very first time!) and being thus reassured of its presence deeply inside, I put thoughts of questioning aside and get on with things.

I cannot grasp it, because it is not something I want to take or possess. Anyhow, it doesn’t have any attributes of possession.

For most of my adult life, I have navigated some fixed stars, with maxims I created. Such as:

“Love is the answer to which no question exists”,

and

“See the sense of season
Sleep naked of reason.
Old soil is new soil
In the dark seed’s eye”

What has opened in me links back to one or other of these concepts, and these in turn link back to key events and crossroads in my earlier life. In turn, I track back along centuries of striving and surviving, trillions of gene iterations, through interstellar dust lanes hustling potential, to the beginning of beginnings.

How do you feel when you’re in love?

Your mind will take you eventually or immediately towards the object of your affection.

What has arrived in me, intense love, quenches every last residue of fear. The awareness of such love is self sustaining. It feels like perpetual motion eternally safe !

The place of perpetuity, where the emotion exists of itself, and in sole occupation of the heart of loving, the only way I have to begin to describe it is to see how it belongs.

It belongs to itself alone.

~Love is present EveryNow

Meditation on Strength

A meditation on Strength

This image presents as a shield for a meditation on Strength.

The viewer is invited to place their attention on either elevation, facing or from the obverse.

Intermediate rotational views are available from every degree of the 360°.

Views are freely available in yaw, roll and pitch, in any desired combination of the axes of rotation.

If no attention is directed, if no thought comes, if there is no light, no dark, no significance of any kind, what remains for those who may be about to turn from this offered gift?

Intense purity of peace and love remain.

With the law of conservation of energy, nothing at all goes to waste.

The continuation of the streaming of powerful loving kindness remains.

Nothing passes unnoticed to the compassionate eye.

Love present EveryNow is powerful like the unimaginable energies lolling and roiling in the interior of Sol, our Sun.

Love present EveryNow is tender like the last rays of light, which took a hundred thousand years to come to the surface of the Sun, and which trickle over the horizon’s edge at the setting of the Sun

~ Love is present EveryNow

The search for EveryNow

~ Love is present EveryNow ❤️

For years I questioned how I can be in total comfort with myself? How can I be happy and my spirits be in balance?

Always these questions around introspection and self-enquiry for me.

After my very young inner child had successfully built grand defences against early trauma, the sea of companionship receded from me and I was on my own fortified island.

Marooned as the “me I call myself” long after my defences had ceased to serve their purpose, I was perpetually on an elusive quest to “catch” myself engaged fully in my most completely alive and revealing moments, at peace and in bliss.

So I feel to share again in gratitude and in simple celebration the mutual recognition of light and beauty in another, and the reflection in me.

Here, in another time of writing, is my pixel of truth as a member of humanity… ” So when I try to define my life’s force in words, or dance, or music, or art, it does not resist me, neither can it escape me, because it is me.

On rare exquisite occasions, my life-force can turn towards me and light me up with a smile of a beautiful person whose gaze I meet, and I am melted clean. “

I once put this on paper…” In the intervening time since I first wrote this, I have many times over been ‘melted clean’. Every time this minor miracle happens, my heart tells me, ‘Leap for joy! Loop the loop!’ until the last remnants of grime and sludge disappear from the windscreen of my pedestrian view. “

It is when I am no longer aware of it, and have not ‘reminded myself’ to tell myself that I am happy, that the quintessence of pleasure occurs. It occurs the way a bubbling freshwater spring upwells.

And here, for many years, and indeed for my first 66 years, submission to the joy of the moment – EveryNow – remained a pretty metaphor, an intriguing glimpse of other people’s existences, but never my own.

My route to arrival (in part) at EveryNow was through my furious and repeated focus over an extended period of years on these two puzzles.

What constitutes the bliss that so utterly takes “me” over? And where am “I” at the moment I vanish and become “become” bliss?

Again… what is the experience like to completely “be” someone else? Put in other words, what is it to fully present my own self with the pure distillation of the sentience of another living sentient creature?

By engaging myself in this roller-coaster thought-ride, centrifugal force may fling me off. It is just one of the many ways to lose myself and find the world.

If I care to think on it, this is the best endeavour of all of my powers of understanding and intuition set to the task of vanishing as being me, and to entering into the sacred presence of the essential essence of another. Another man, woman, tree, even a stone!

Less is so much more that it defies description!

And it is this lack of definitive Definitions, this willingness of mine to take the courage of my own spiked curiosity, in the absence of labelling intentions, that brings me to see there are two things which have meaningful existence: Peace and Love.

Love is the child of Light and Peace.

What makes all the foregoing worthwhile and valid? These two: Peace and Love. Peace and Love are qualities which together constitute my heart, my most sacred personal space.

And I have a simple practical way to find myself whenever I am in need, feel troubled, restless or lost.

The reality for me of the existence in me of Love and Peace is not just a chunk of factual knowledge that I can refer to.

Through thick and thin, illness, despair, literal clinical madness and the mayhem of chaos, I know for sure I need only look inwards.

I only need touch into this heart of mine with a smile in order to reignite my entire panoply of reasons to be alive and to continue to live.

Instantly I am driven to raise and praise these qualities and make them known and shared far and wide.

And principally to those I love.

~ Love is present E v e r yN o w ❤️

🟢beauty detonating🟣

A blade of grass has no looking-glass. It is not green by reason of it absorbing all colours but green.

A grassblade is an abstraction of beauty in a pure material form. It is so and not further.

Night or day, in every grass-blade there is a blinding-bright beauty detonating in total silent anonymity.

Only allow that beauty to enter, to penetrate your heart, and, exactly because you are more actively constructed and construed than a blade of grass, you are able to see, to experience with your conscious awareness the glorious Sufficiency of You in all your innate beauty and latent power.

When that occurs, inspiration, the lack of it, pain, or the lack of it, in fact all states or stages of being in life click into their own place.

That place is where time began and ends. Where love and peace pertain. Like the Tardis, it is a LOT bigger on the inside than on the outside!
. . .
And the maelstrom of moments in which our beauty dances, exists as EveryNow.

“Love is the thread which weaves the empty sky with birdsong

~ Love is present EveryNow”

CRESCENDOS of expressionlessness

EveryNow is in the presence of the original peace of the universe

EveryNow always comes garlanded by love

Peace is omnipresent in you and in me

Peace is in the arrival of our knowing in truthfulness

We are made from peace

Peace is in every thing we care nothing about

Peace has no need of a name

Peace does not need to be touched to exist

The expression of peace is in crescendos of expressionlessness

Love is the answer to which

No question exists

~ Love is present

E v e r yN o w

The brilliance of existing

I write of the brilliance of existing.

When I write, I am representing in one way or another a self-similar fragment of the brilliance of the peace and love we all come from and to which we all return.

The brilliance reveals itself here, under the next leaf, there beneath the water’s ripple. It is behind old grief, and it is always always always after my next blink. It is EveryNow!

“Peter,” you say,

“You are defo in the zone of Zen.”

Yes, maybe so.

You are the one who says so about me. It is not just the me you see. It is you who says you see.

Whatever the zone is, even if the zone is ignored, denied, unsuspected or invisible under examination, it is you, it is I, it is ineradicably eternally in you and in I.

Because it shines in all sentient beings, and because all sentient beings take shape and form from all things, the zone of Zen you say you see is as in and of you as it is of me and of EveryThing.

We all return to the brilliance of the peace we come from and the heart of love which animates and sustains us.

The brilliance is here for me to see in every blink and breath. It behoves me to remind you of it in the words I say and in the glance I cast.

If love is present EveryNow, due attention ought to be drawn to its brilliance – a splendour which touches us every one deeply, if we know it, or if we know it not!

~ Love’s presence EveryNow

There is no peace

There is no peace.

Peace is living us in our heart’s love EveryNow

🌱 See it sing it dance it ♥️