The journey has no end

The journey has no end in any sense of the word “end”.

It begins always.

The journey analysed dissolves into millions of fragments I call EveryNow.

They are like sunlight refracted off myriad drops of dew in an early childhood memory of a meadow on a summer dawn.

The dissolution of the journey becomes the journey.

I seek not the journey, I seek to become.

In the becoming, flowers a personal meadow which contains all the peace needed for a fulfilled and fulfilling life.

~ Love is present EveryNow

A cry that escaped from my Mother

I am haunted by a cry that escaped from my Mother while she was very depressed.

I think she may also have suffered from Bi-Polar but in the early 1960’s there was little or no understanding of it.

She said, “I have been a bad mother to you!” Absolutely not, of course. And I did try to tell her so.

She died many years later in 1975, and by that time she had found a tremendous amount of peace and personal reconciliation.

However, she could not have known how my life was to become one of success in terms of peace of mind, stability, and my ability to maintain myself in quality employment.

Still less could she have guessed or even believed that I would become a happy father of a sweet healthy family in a long term loving relationship of conventional marriage. Forty-one years and counting.

Some things are only given to us to fully know at some distant and unknowable point. In the grand timescales of the Universe. Cause and effect may be linked, yet the threads of connection are forever beyond our everyday understanding.

There is a somewhere where she knows we are all healthy and happy.

For this my heart is at peace. For this my gratitude has no end.

I know this… You and I and all of humanity are subject to the same mysteries of love on immensely grand unknowable cosmic timescales

It’s what hearts do!

“… When you talk to yourself in your mind, which self do you address? And how? Usually people do not talk to their divinity, but to the most superficial aspects of their everyday personality.
And often its a stream of fears, and mindless repetition of old things. If we talked that way to another human being, we would have to apologise.
Learning to talk properly to the self is a spiritual endeavour. Thoughts from the past and worries about the future do not create good conversation. Instead learn to talk to your mind as if it were a child. Talk to it with love.
If you just force a child to sit down, it won’t work. A good mother knows how to prompt her child into doing what she wants.
Be a good mother to your mind, teach it good, positive thoughts so that when you tell it to sit quietly, it will. Love your mind. Speak, stay happy… ”
~
Peter Pilley 20160816:

This advice from “Companion of God” by Brahma Kumaris, Dadi Janki is absolutely spot on, true and brilliant.

I say, speak to your own mind with all of the vocabulary of love that you can find. You have a wide and extensive memory full of loving phrases, love songs, love lyrics. Use these at every possible opportunity!
And become more and more inclined to reach out to yourself and to those nearest and dearest to your heart with these words of admiration, encouragement, praise and simple smiling kindness.
Let drop expletives, and rough-cut gutter words, because they can all be substituted by exclamations of positive surprise, even of love.
If you stop, make time for yourself, because there is something you can do. I do it.
Eyes closed, touch your fingertips into your own heart in a peaceful moment of open enquiry.
Put any smile on your face, and it is your smile to your own heart. You will see that all your heart ever wants to do, all it ever wanted to do, is to sing songs of love to the glory of you.
It’s what hearts do! And with practice, this is what you can see more and more clearly.
All of self love begins with conversations full of positive words, and reassurances.
I’d be inclined to first seek out those in my circle who have the honesty and compassion to say such things to my face…
And listen to them. And believe their words are sacred, because it is their heart who speaks ❤️❤️❤️

O my Friends!

O my Friends, a diamond sits lifeless and insignificant in the dark

The course of my life has been influenced by far more people than I have had hot dinners.
The more people I meet, and with whom I connect, the more I am empowered by gratitude to shine.
I reflect the love-light of fellow shining souls.
Our refractions seen by others and reflected in turn, imbue reality with significance, importance, energetic potential.
Thank you for your influence in my life. It is nourishment for my soul.
Thank you for turning your light toward me. You illuminate my heart, so I find grace and am empowered to share grace with more grace.
Thank you for honouring me with your Friendship, for its presence by my side delineates my humanity with brushstrokes of the divine
~ Love is present EveryNow

¡ Freeing myself from my illusion of lack of self worth!

 ¡ Freeing myself from my illusion of lack of self worth! 


Last week in the guided relaxation at the end my Yoga class, my teacher was reminding me to thank my lungs for their ability to breathe, to thank my heart for its vital sustain of rhythm, and then she suggested I be thankful to my Soul!

Well I never did hear the like of such a thing before!
Nevertheless, I duly went to my soul and I was thankful.

That’s when I saw the image of an eye form in my mind. 

It was like a black and white artist’s pencil drawing. Undramatic, realistic. Just  this eye gently looking off to the left. I saw it has bushy eyebrows. This was my eye! I was seeing the gentleness in me as others may see it, but I was gazing appreciatively for the first time at serious, nice “me”.

My surprise dissolved the image. However, I was still in a deeply relaxed state, and so I returned to look, still with my eyes closed, at the pleasant sight of the the rest of my own features began to take shape as well.

I had the reaction, “Did you see that!” as of someone in the front seat of a car, who turns round to say to the person on the back seat, who has seen and who knows.

Ever since I had this incontrovertible confirmation of me as my own friend and companion, my heart has been singing new and carefree tunes. I say “ever since” … it’s only been three days!

💃The company of living Angels🕺

💃The living company of Angels🕺
The strange thing is that my ability to see and say this, and now to accept it all fully as being who I am, has been “gathering” itself together during these last five years since 2013.
My best truth about myself I can say from that time of opening is that, “I am love”.
Strange, because the newness is the main flavour. The newness doesn’t diminish, it continues to grow, so that I feel I date my beginning and I look over my “past” as from 2013. This is the year I call the Year of my Life.
I am able to express this feeling, this impression, directly with few people.
The flow of this abundant spring of natural joy compels me to shine and shout and share.
The odd thing about this knowledge of my original selfhood is that the more I feel intensely I am a pixel in a beautiful picture of humanity, the more I find myself in a new minority.
And so, I open to share with those few whose gentle timeline is also scored with similar music. Music sounded is one of the purest examples of the way light arises, shines, and is refreshed from Awareness.
You, I, we are not alone, though.
You, I, we, all are gifted at birth with this Awareness. It’s a wonder strange and so very good to think we are all in the company of living Angels!

Watch “PETER & TELMA” on YouTube

My personal photo walking tour of a remarkable spa town in the State of Minas Gérais Brazil. The place where my wife grew up. A place of community, of generations of people who matter to each other. A place of intense impressions of calm and colour and rooted existence. A place of love that my camera rejoices in.

~ Love flows EveryNow…

~ Love flows EveryNow…
The established trees along this rushing stream are participant to the continual flow of it.

I may enquire, because there are answers.

Ask then. What of the highly recognisable rush of the waters that draws our attention with its sound and vision?

And what of the reality of this noise and movement to the deaf-blind trees’ long life.

Ask what of the reality of the waters’ journey in terms of the immobility of the trees?

This scene contains answers.

It does not make any request of a viewer. It does not require a response from a viewer. It does not require a viewer.

The power of these watery flows, and their relationship to the land in which they are in motion are entirely sufficient unto themselves.

We, you and I, have no input whatsoever.

What may be gifted to me to notice, when I place my awareness between the waters and my heart, is the mysterious non-attached love which exists and which is the love-attractor for the continued existence of the riverside trees

~ Love is present EveryNow

Does existence care?

The important thing is caring.
Caring makes us matter.
I am courageous to adventure so far out along the shining space between me and you as to suggest that caring creates matter.
Caring is capable of bringing you and me into illumination.
We are alive, is true. Being alive is the beginning.
Caring can bring me and you into existence!
~ Love is present EveryNow

The charms on the chains of life

🍃The charms on the chains of life🕸️

I’m deeply attracted to those remaining places where insect life reigns.

These noisy, twigling, wriggly, knee-high places remind me of me in the early 1950s.

Where grassy meadows do richly teem with countless varieties of colourful insects, winged and not winged.

Long-legged. Short legged. Antennae that wave so thoughtfully.

Huge wings spread out of small wing cases with dizzy quickness.

Compound eyes saturated with alien intelligence.

Knobbly impossibly miniaturised knees. Prehistoric fang-spikes set on dry thighs. Body hair for defence, not warmth.

Respect for the tiny weapons that can hurt small children so much.

I’m a little boy again. I am fascinated to discover and observe brightly coloured, fleshy caterpillars, and moths with rich decorative symmetrical patternings, like colour illustrations from the pages of my Jules Vernes science fantasy book.

Camouflaged crickets with military markings. Crackly green grasshoppers crawling and jumping out away from me, everywhere I walk.

I see these populations using their brains to absorb what their senses say to them. The blood red ones cluster on white cowparsley flowers to feast on tiny nectar pots. Some pause, and are distracted to mount one another.

The stench of cowpats, not repellant to me, sometimes attracts horseflies. I soon learn they can deliver a sting far more powerful than stinging nettles.

Pollen smokes off the grass panickles. The loud cawing of rooks around the crown of the giant elm tree. Is it hunger? Fright? I am curious about their recognition of stimuli whose inflows are invisible and unknowable to giant little me.

In response to their needs, insect innards compel them like lightning into unprovoked instant propulsion.

Zero-to-Cheerio in less than the blink of my eye. Gone. Undiscoverable except to their own kind!

See them all today. They are in perpetual motionlessness.

See them exposed in thin rows and rectangular ranks. They are pinned to white boards under sheets of glass in the reference shelves of natural history museums.

How long ago was this great gleaning? Not long after me, a little boy, utterly lost to wonder, had gone away to be schooled.

Not a long time later, almost all would be disappearing. Insufficient numbers for a quorum, let alone for a tapestry carpet of rowdy noise.

Imperial Chemical Industries and others began to send swarms of besuited salesmen out into the countryside.

They rode their cars through puddled single track lanes to offer the farmers guaranteed yield increases and government approved blandishments impossible to ignore.

I do so love insects, specially insects in huge gatherings in long grasses together.

Their noisy and visible presence are blessings on us humans.

They signal to us by their sounds, by their intermittent reveals from out of hiding, and by their flashes of semaphore sightings that theirs is the dance of fecundity in the Big Green – the precious green space we all of us share and completely depend on – the natural ecology

~ Love is present EveryNow

* In real time *

* In real time *

The creation of trust in myself and the learning of how to trust others takes real time.

We are not mechanical beings. We are suffering creatures. We have no switches to throw. No switches to start or to stop suffering.

What I do have is me and time.

This points to one of the many reasons why the time we all have is not for idly wasting. Our lives are finite, our time here together is limited. We can rise above these limits. We can transcend them for a while together. We can fly.

If I fly, I do so accompanied by great joy. To learn to have wings to fly in all honesty and integrity I need time.

I need Time to learn to live. Time to learn how others live. Time to learn the languages of love. Time to heal from pain inflicted and pain afflicting. Time to reflect and to be grateful. Time in which to lose all that I am and all that I have. Time for sharing all of these as widely as possible.

If I use all the time I have…
if I revere and sanctify the precious gift it is, then my life and my end of my life
become one and the same moment !

I live my moments in the peace of a force ten gale. The more I welcome my life which rips me and rips through me in real time, the more I approach with joy the end of my time.

The end of my time clothed only in peace
* In real time *

At dawn I saw with speechless horror night had turned its back on me

At the lighting of dawn’s light I saw with speechless horror that night had turned its back on me and would not shield me from view.

And so I understood my time had arrived.

I completely gave up the impossible battle with myself.

The pain stopped. It stopped like a drawn out shriek run out of breath.

Courage took hold and I dared to start over with no assumptions, no power of control.

The words and deeds I had been in such desperate need of found expression in my throat.

I found I could act on the deeds I had thought were utterly beyond my capacity.

I walked forward. It was a never before. It was an ever-after. It was unimportant if it was day or if it was night. I stepped into my power. A fish that moves by barely moving, and then is not seen!

Words don’t fail me now.

Words return from their pilgrimage beyond the distant horizon where I know my soul extends, and they break in salty surf on the beach – faithful, compliant, rhythmic.

ALL SHALL BE WELL; AND ALL SHALL BE WELL; AND ALL MANNER OF THING SHALL BE WELL [Julian of Norwich]

I never look back since that long fruitless night of prayer.

I do nothing to light the way.

The way is lit.

The way is inexpressibly beautiful always.

I choose thoughts, because I can.

I choose long and hard, enough that I dwell on thoughts of love.

I choose to look out for the vocabulary of love.

I choose the means to make the mouth of the mind clear for loving.

I give no home in my mouth to words of fear or hate.

So choose!

Be bold enough to speak out loud about love, always and everywhere.

One fine day, you will pause, and you will see a beautiful person steps to meet you.

A beautiful figure treads a path that lights up all by itself with neither conscious nor unconscious volition.

This person is you

~ Love is present EveryNow

Love unopposed loves

A walk in autumn woods. Webs keep sticking to my face and hair.
I don’t do anything.
I cannot brush away love.
Love invisible clings, melds, envelops.
I do nothing.
So, unopposed, love loves to surprise and caress

People like this

Is it not incomprehensible that thin stems of dead grasses, or reeds, they bend to every gale and rain storm and they remain upright.

They display the same gentle curvaceous grace as when they were still alive among the bees and butterflies so many weeks before?

I know people who are like this…
❤️

Keys to unlock Self Love

It is wasteful and demeaning to ignore beauty or to pass beauty by on the other side of the road.

It is befitting and constructive to allow beauty to enter the six senses.
All living things are superlative in their own right. All sentient beings attentively and compassionately witnessed reveal their superlative core.

Yellow Buddleja just happens to be more superlative than itself!

It is nourishing and revealing to meditate attentively on those elements in my own heart and soul which beauty touches and resonates with.
Here are the secret – and not so secret – keys with which to unlock Self Love
~ Love is present EveryNow

*Meditation on Nourishment*

*Meditation on Nourishment*

It is the need of the warrior to be nourished to perform the rituals of survival.
Those who are in the glare of the warrior’s Sun, take courage, another form of nourishment.
The warrior beats the drum alone in a big green place, and nourishment flows back to the centre from the edges of the big green.
We are the living embodiment of the nourishment created by the Sun, our loving and beloved star.
Nourish the mind and the heart and the Soul will gladly shine. In gratitude, it will simply open mine eyes to the brilliance of the green, and the love that sparkles in the watching eyes

Wild lamentations of personal grief 

There is a field of human endeavour identifiable by the vocabulary of its skeletal airtight constructs and its conceptual legal abstractions.

There are entities, such as the Law, and Organisations, Associations and Companies, which owe the basis of their existence to definitions alone.
Their state of being rests on highly polished words with small areas of meaning embedded in permissive agreements, which themselves hang uninfluenced by Newton’s law of universal gravitation in the air of abstraction.
Read rejection into redundancy? Read earthquake into termination? I say it can be most illuminating to read post-holder into employee!
During the 80’s and 90’s, I was the subject of five redundancies.
My first was a revelation. It was a blue-sky day in May. I returned from Iunch hour to my desk punctually at 2pm. I had had many praises for my work in sales, which was a new departure for me, as I was more used to general clerical work.
I was summoned to the company boardroom. Here the Managing Director and the Finance Director sat at the long hardwood table. At five past two, here I was served with a notice of redundancy.
It was to be the first of five in the next couple of years.
I was struck by the wild lamentations of personal grief of other work colleagues at the sudden shock of receiving their own notices of redundancy.
They regarded their company as a second family, and ascribed familial affections, loyalties or aversions to some of their co-workers.
I knew a couple of people who suffered badly from the shock of redundancy, never able to handle this technical act of Letting Go. I saw one man descend immediately into the abyss of mental torment, compounded by alcohol and drug abuse.
I witnessed his appalling spiralling losses, first of financial independence, soon family breakup, health issues compounded by a drunken fall downstairs leading to surrender to depression, domestic squalor and isolation.
Within three hours on that lovely spring day in May 1988, I had fulfilled my desire to drive to the flower-filled Cannizaro Park during normal working hours, and I made a photographic study, in serene solitude, of the fabled alleyway of Golden Rain blossom.
I had also had a consultation with a lawyer to verify the validity of the terms of my redundancy, and I had arranged my first job interview!
I call myself fortunate to clearly see an employing company for what it is, an abstract legal construct.
I see myself, an employee, simply as the holder of a post. I was never family, I never had the right to any other reward for what I did when I occupied that post beyond the narrow boundaries of the definitions which proscribed me there.
In the technical jargon, the word redundancy is rinsed of all human connotations, such as hugs or kisses, and signifies the point when two parties are deemed to agree they have arrived at the point when they no longer are bound by their contract of obligation to one another.
It was sad to see such quantities of unnecessary emotion expended when the lives of some of my office friends were felt so strongly uprooted in this way.

Woe to people who mistake the abstract definitions of others for the reality of their own existence, for they waste their time sleepwalking blind, eyes open only to their illusion!

What is

What is, is not the unitary and oblivious carelessness of what is, but the glowing strength of the is-ness animating it.
This insight is what moves from inside of me to share. It is the inside of me. I am inside all humanity because is-ness comes dancing and skipping before any question like, “Is it?”
It is the same for the inside of every one of us, we knowing it, or it all unknown to us.
Only make visible to others what brightness makes visible!
Here are the wonders of the mirror!

Delight is up side down side inside and out.

All the world loves a lover.
Therefore be love!
Be love! Float and glow with tides of the foamy briney stuff of which your life and my life is made and which makes all life loving and alive
~ Love is present EveryNow