FRIEND, I see you completely

* Valediction *
FRIEND, I see you completely.
You see me open my hand to you in a valediction.
I say, for example,
“The light is in us. It need never, never go away. It has always been there in our hearts in all our days and nights. The light is there. It dreams us awake. It cradles us in sleep. It is here now.”
How to visualise a glorious light which nourishes solely by glory? Where is the seed of such wonderful light? It is a serious question, if question there must be. One with many answers.
I can say for example,
“Before there was light, there was bright.”
I can say,
“Before the beginning there was the power of peace. Before peace was love.”
Only look up from where you are now. See! All this glory arises from one gentle static smile in perpetual motion!
I say,
“The peace calmly waits at the place of eternal safety.  Even through the most solid gates, even at the moment of death, the brightness makes itself visible for us to see. It is Love.”
Love is the answer
to which
no question exists
X» ❤ «X

Flora or fauna – all time travellers

💧We’re all the same on VLT🪐

I see no difference between us and these birch trees, except that the trees are born, live and die in the same spot.

And even so, they are more swarm than individuals.

Their slow progress across their landscape is in fact a form of movement from one location to another in accord with the terms of the ‘swarm’.

Billy Myles, my biology teacher, taught that the major difference between animal and vegetable is animals’ abiliity to move from place to place.

We, the animal, share attributes in common with the vegetable more deeply than we can imagine when we move past their standing selves.

Individual vegetable life-forms in a swarm move in the frame of Very Long Timescales.

They are in constant displacement too – the glaciers, the nountains, the atolls, the continental land masses of our mineral world.

We all have a share of the same
~ Love is present E v e r yN o w

*see*

*See*
See ugliness, see injustice, see violence.

See your partner, neighbour family and friends.

See the street, the grasses, parks, see the weeds.

See all of it all of the time.

See always with your loving eyes ~ ~ for Love is present EveryNow

Tisbury, Wiltshire June 2013

The river at Tisbury. Exhausted and hardly able to walk after a long hot day of solo rambling, I hung about till the horse was in frame. Then hobbled to the Chinese takeaway. I admit I took a taxi the last mile or two to the fabulous B&B pub, called The Compasses Inn, Lower Chicksgrove, Tisbury, Wiltshire SP3 6NB
It was a very hot June day on the Wiltshire Dorset borders in 2013. I had that slowdown of time you get when lightheaded with thirst. I turned around to look at the lane I had mistaken for a shortcut, but I didn’t have the energy to retrace my steps. I took this photo for a picture of Summer glory.

Walking holidays with

Remember* Give Honour to the Deep*

* Honour to the Deep *
There are endless and enduring benefits in simple contemplation of the eternal qualities of the night skies. And of the visible seas.
The sea’s physical scale is beyond us. But we are salt water too. Water is drawn to water.
Think on its enormous weight and the gradient of increasing pressures.
The waters are one interlinked body on our blue planet.
The visible surface movements are grand to behold, at calm or seized by violent storm.
All of this is microscopic compared to the unhearable deep hamonies and resonances of the vast flow of currents in motion around the orb of Earth. Slower than the slowest grandfather clock, the eddies inter-pour, currents stream from ocean to ocean in a progress belonging to nobody and nothing but the rotating planet itself.
And from all time, hundreds of millions of years, and in this very moment, we see little or nothing of submerged life.
Submarine, it lives and breathes, feeds and breeds. It teems in colossal abundance and extravagant variety – generations animal and generations vegetable – in perpetual interdependence.
Look out over the sea, from a beach, from a cliff, a car, a plane, a boat.
Remember also to give Honour to the Deep

No Thing

No thing

water
trickling
down a drain
recalls to mind
that all must
go to the bottom
and then rise
rise again
in new form
continual

interchange and
transference
of energy
in a passing
before our minds

. see .
with what clarity
i perceive nothing

[1974]

“To begin the journey, first it is necessary to arrive” 

“For the journey to begin, first it is necessary to arrive”
The journey has no end in any sense of the word “end”. My journey consists of beginnings. It begins all the time and always.
For the journey to begin, first it is necessary to arrive!
A new place for my line of sight to settle on, a new point on which my skin feels some contact, a new thought, every new breath I breathe.
The journey analysed dissolves into millions of fragments I call EveryNow.
I see sunlight refracted into coloured points of diamond light from my early childhood memory of a meadow one summer, when the light rays of the rising sun struck myriad drops of dew on the grassblade tips.
I ran home and told my Mother there are diamonds in the grass.
Dreamlike is the quality of the journey which is clasped in peace.
The dissolution of the journey becomes the journey. I seek not the journey, I seek to become. In the becoming, come flowers of the heart.
Flowers can flower perpetually in a personal meadow which contains all the peace needed for a fulfilled and fulfilling life.

“Benedictus benedicat”

“Benedictus benedicat”
I am 100% certain of my own death. I am ignorant of the time when I will die.
So now what choices are left to me?
Quietly stated, I can choose to open my heart to love my fellow journeyers and to honour the life flame which expresses itself as the one I call me.
I can turn to face up to myself, and sharpen and hone my acute awareness of my body and my mind with every breath and heartbeat.
I can close my inner eye and in the dark I can feel the hearts beat of all my loved ones – family, friends, of every single one whose path has crossed and touched mine.
My ancestors make themselves known to me in the living, working. expressions of my body, and in the inheritance of my capacity for thought.
I can give thanks for choices without end.
Principally, I have the ability to bend towards all who have made reality of my existence.
My gratitude is in the immediacy of every instant my blood and my flesh support my survival. My bloodline is a small drop in a chartless oceanic journey of blood lines.
Love is the bed of our moving blood ocean.
I am at peace in a storm of fiery life!
I am overflowing with gifts none of which I created, but all of which arise from the mystery of peace from which my compassionate heart flames into life.
It is all entirely sufficient.
I want for nothing.
Love is present
I am ready
EveryNow

Old world wisdom

The wisdom of the people9 who live close to the earth and who live by the measure of the sun and the seasons chooses to speak with words in a particular order and of an order of gravity seldom if ever used by city dwellers of today.
What words they say and how they say them are surprising to us. They catch our attention with their disarming plain factual truths. The words they speak often shine a light on our everyday with a brightness that brings us directly back to our perceptions of the everyday and bathes the dull way we live and speak in a refreshing glow of solemn beauty.
Their vision is lucid, because their needs are met on paths of least resistance connected to their own survival. And their need to survive with honour and with dignity is something they express and celebrate without pride or vainglory.
They regard themselves as one group of beings among other kinds of beings, both animate and inanimate. For these peoples, it is self-evident that they live by the exact same laws of the sanctity of life as each of the other groups. They apply to themselves rules that life itself lays down and they do not regard them as either better or worse, but valid according to their patterns of need.
There are the nomadic people, the people in our cities who exist in the unseen margins, the subsistence communities, those groups who still live with minimal contact with the world of the twentieth century. All of these are people who preserve ways of seeing and saying which are remarkable for their lack of artifice, embellishment, overtones or undertones of meaning.
They speak words in harmonious combination, which I, a lifelong city dweller, recognise as expressions of a reality without distraction and interference, refined always with compassion, dignity and above all humility by the immediate imperatives of daily living.
And I willingly concede that in my daily life I have lost touch with much of their valuable experience. Whenever I’m privileged to hear their speech, I gratefully receive the clarity of expression, the innate wisdom, and the suddenly obvious commonsense in the logic of thought.

What is, is not the unitary and oblivious carelessness of what is, but the glow

What is, is not the unitary and oblivious carelessness of what is, but the glowing strength of the is-ness animating it.
This insight is what moves from inside of me to share. It is the inside of me. I am inside all humanity because is-ness comes dancing and skipping before any question like, “Is it?”
It is the same for the inside of every one of us, we knowing it, or it unknown to us.
Only make visible to others what brightness makes visible!
Here are the wonders of the mirror!
Delight is up side down side inside and out.
All the world loves a lover.
Therefore be love!
Be love! Float and glow with tides of the foamy briney stuff of which your life and my life is made and which makes all life loving and giving and alive

Toddler in the jungle

I grew up toddling through my very own jungle all of my own discovery.

I was discovering wild – literally ‘wild’ – vegetation and flora. It was chock full of strange animals. The feelings and the inner conversations I had with this natural jungle form an important part of my earliest memories of my own communion with this planet I had been born onto.

This was the world of hay meadows, pastures filled with flowers as vulnerable, as delicate and as small in scale as I myself.

This was a world of deep peaceful mid-England summer countryside over which blue skies glowed. A world in whose numberless green corners and turns I and only I had the regal pleasure of placing my feet, and I placed my sandalled feet wheresoever I chose.

I wondered at the brilliance of the coloured insects, their astonishing sudden turns of speed. Crickets and grasshoppers of many species would observe my observation with their honeycomb eyes, and vanish in a leap.

I fell in love with the daytime moths and the way they spread their wings and revealed hidden bright coloured patternings. I chased big butterflies to see them better when they landed, even though I knew most outperformed my own best turns of speed.

Lacewings, caterpillers, daddy-longlegs, millipedes, woodlice families, red soldier beetles on cow parsley, worms, silverfish, spiders fat, and spiders pinhead red, ants and of course fearsome horseflies feasting on cowpats.

These were my study, my entertainment and the close friends I loved to spend time with.

The very few aeroplanes that passed unhuriedly overhead themselves sounded like lazy booming stag beetles, because they were all four-engine propeller driven.

The flowering mixed grasses were my fascination. Here were tall treelike beings as far my eyes could see, and I was a giant striding among them with my bare legs.

Today I still thrill to the core of my boybeing at the slightest glimpse of the graceful complex completeness of grasses displaying their waving flower panickles to the pollen-dispersing winds.

Ah, my heart breaks for those bygone days when I had the certainty of ecstatic release as I walked into the luscious rich chewy smelliness of those waiting pastures of green.

The spaces in these warm unintimidating open fields were filled with conversation. Buzzes, barks, clicks, rustles, and the cawing of rooks so high up in the majestic elm tree canopy towering by the gated entrance to the pasture.

To this chatter I added my own. All these countless beings kept coming and going in front of my eyes. I was the only human being in sight.

I think I was asking everyone what they were doing, where they were going. Above all, my mind was wanting them to explain to me, to inform me, to give up the secrets to me of who they were, of what it was like to inhabit their tiny bodies so different to mine.

I have never ceased to ask these sacred private questions of these public tiny animals.

Intensive use of pesticides have all but completely done away with the clouds of insects that the spreading picnic cloth would send scattering up and away.

I have never ceased to ask these sacred questions.

The hedgerows, so wondrously populated by the high-rise dwellers of the field edge, have become fence posts connected by galvanised barbed wire.

Wheat and barley stretches out of sight and their blue indigo cornflowers and the flutter-poppies in their red frocks have been weedkiller-ed, banned, abolished, banished.

And still I do not cease to question them.

I held those exquisite magic conversations. I spoke directly to the green beings. I chatted with the six and with the eight-legged kind. I fancied I could interpret their thoughts from the attitude of their antennae. I listened and learned from the crowing of the rooks.

They answered to my innocence. They imparted their unconscious wisdoms. Every word we exchanged together found a new place of holiness in my heart.

Though I know the answers now, yet I never cease to put the question.

There is no question.
Answer is before.
There is only the answer.

See the sense of season.

Sleep naked of reason.

~ Love is present EveryNow

A wish in solitude

[Photo: Magic Vial Charm – Deep Forest]

There be mirthless sadness. Yes. True.
Only open the eyes of your eyes.
Inside a tiny crystal bottle,
no larger than a wish in solitude,
sits an antidote, a cure-all, an elixir!
Let the lights become visible that seem to shine inside.
You are as the blackest night sky.
Your stars are contained
in the reflection on the surface of a drop of dew.
A dream? No! Here purest imaginable interstellar rocket fuel is for you.
All you do is remove the stopper
from your sacred phial.
Tremble to taste!
Take a deep long draught.
Take a long deep draught of “Love to Live”, by EveryNow
~ Love is present EveryNow

⚡I am like the oxy-acetylene torch🔥

* I am like the oxy-acetylene torch *
My one and only trip in the midsummer of 1966 opened my eye to the unlimited raw power that is expressed by living organisms and through their ways of being, the spectacular raw beauty of that power.
It was a single gateway experience which gave me a view into reality that ordinarily is ordinary.
Only look and see. For me ordinariness is a veil that signs me toward a transcendental reality, permanently a-flame with the constant coalescences of transient life.
It’s so very directly described in the thundering cadences of Dylan Thomas’s ‘Through the Green Fuse’, and it’s shot through William Blake’s ‘The Țyger’. It is too, contained in the loveliness of e.e. cummings poem:
‘ may my heart always be open to little birds who are the secrets of living
whatever they sing is better than to know ‘.
My mind ordinarily is prone to drag me through thickets of shattered glass thoughts. I have the ability to allow the tortuous undergrowth to melt away and let the tearing sharpness backflip into the void from whence it came.
On an instant, “Pop!” I am like the oxy-acetylene torch… ignited!
In such moments, there is nothing standing between my passion and the experience of my passion, I see my heart is on fire with flames, beautiful fluttering sun-orange flickering flames which consume nothing
~ Love is present EveryNow

Student woodpecker

River Alres, near Alresford

Student woodpecker
carpenter of the sky
you codify

beak

bark

brain

in the distance like the clacker
of some semantic loom
caught up in whose matrix of meaning

a river gift
waits wriggling
as if tickled by
a thought

16 June 1966

* A little quiet time together *

* A little quiet time together *

1525330880-picsay

I and some others who took part in the guided Tree Walk with Anthony Goh one morning at Colourfest in 2013, intensely felt the experience and came away with deep lasting positive impressions from the trees themselves.

The two most tactile tangible realities we are all intimately in connection with throughout our existence are other human beings within the animal world, and grass, flowers and trees, as well as the plants we eat as food in the world of vegetables.

I publish this again here in thanks to Anthony. Before that day, a tree was an item of landscape, seen, but unrecognised, unacknowledged.

— Earth Mother bore our shoeless dancing feet with tender green love. Sky Father trees, all unconscious of their benign majesty, held millions of green solar flags high over us.

— The pinnacle of bliss at Colourfest 2013, was our experience with Tree Walk on Sunday, two by two, now eyes shut, now eyes open, touching, embracing, the breeze of bells carried in the warm air from the Wimborne St Giles church. It deeply moved all who took part, whether first-timers like myself, or not.

— The shockingly blissful conjunction of ourself with trees to the serious and gentle promptings of Anthony Goh was, in one word, thrilling.

— From that day on, my relationship with trees has been changed forever. For one thing, trees to me are no longer there like items which happen to be in my line of sight outside of me.

Trees at last I know to be fellow beings. Every one has a life story, a unique identity – a Treesonality.

Every one has an inner smile which I know I can share just by spending a little quiet time together.

Yoga vision

Yoga with Relaxation
I had an unbidden vision at one of my first Yoga classes during Relaxation. The vision did not seem associated with an arising thought, nor did it come out of some other passing image.
I saw a flame. It was silent and not large. It had the shape that a fan-tail gas burner will make. The flame was not highly coloured, and it was not bright. It surprised me.
It made me want to smile in recognition. It was love. It was the flame of life.

My life

* What counts is the flow *

Flow counts

* What counts is the flow *
What counts is the flow, not what the flow contains.
A good start point for every quiet minute.
What is contained in the flow?
My emotions, thoughts, fragments of fields of vision.
None of these remain for very long of their own accord.
What is not contained in the flow?
The “not” possesses all the attributes of illusion bereft of reality, because “not” is all about  distractions of my dual thinking mind.
I am awake; this is my Journey.
I hear a bell; my Journey flows me.
Bell sounds no more;
Sun sets. Rain dries.
I am awake.
Love is present EveryNow

Indebtedness – a table of spices set with humility

picture-1625830920619684933.jpg

I feel there is an indebtedness that arises in me from the recognition of successive blessings entering the arena of my life.
The tangible blessings start with my Mother and Father. Then the blessings in tiers associated, from the medical staff at my birth, fanning out to my family, our relatives, friends, the wider and ever wider civil society on whom my life continues to depend for support and continuation.
My repayment of what I owe is on a simple table in the arena. It is covered by a pale cloth. It is set with humility. And the rich rare spices I am invited to choose when cooking the dish of gratitude taste as sharp as the coming in of death at my little life’s end.
Any responsible and compassionate response to privileged heightened awareness of life in its very glory and in its quirky contrariness ought to be forged into a legacy for sharing.
What form this takes is all the choice I have.
At this time in mid 2018, I am working on my legacy, comprising ideas impressions memories and prayers shared on my blog and offered for whatever the future may see fit to do or not to do with them.
~ Love is present EveryNow

Under the influence

On Thadée Pilley’s indirect influence on my life.

My Father was a conference interpreter. Over thirty and more years he travelled four continents extensively for his work. He once counted 56 countries visited.

He recognised his privileged life, and it was a great joy to him to be able to give full reign to his boyish passion for exploration.

In the late 1940s, when on interpretation assignments in Europe, he would travel on the plane with his favourite form of instant transport – the collapsible Corgi scooter [photo].

In the more far away countries, once the day’s session was done, he didn’t hang around at the hotel as most people on business do. He’d hire a motor scooter, and dive deep, often at random, into town and countryside to discover places and things, and to meet people.

The Collapsible Corgi Scooter

He would regularly land himself into adventures. Most were quirky, weird and wonderful, some led him into real physical danger, injury even. His extractions formed part of the climax of his travellers tales.

He would enjoy retelling his incredible exploits over a meal at family get-togethers. He was an excellent raconteur and he loved holding ‘centre stage’.

Sadly, I remember only the outlines of a very few of my late Father’s famous stories.

In the heyday of the Cold War spy era, the best spy camera, as featured in classic fiction, was the German made Minox. My Dad carried a Minox in each pocket, one for black and white, one for colour, capacity 50 high quality 8mm photos on every film.

He was an amateur with a gift for subject, composition and timing. He accumulated a large collection of real, not tourist, travel images.

I am proud to be the custodian of his photos and colour transparencies. I hope to digitise these.

His professional working hours demanded intense concentration. It was a kind of “letting off steam” for him to use his free time abroad to visit as many culturally interesting places and events as he could cram into his work days in all these far-flung countries.

If a museum he might chance to find were unfortunately closed, he would find the key holder and by his charm and diplomacy be granted sole access out of hours.

I have witnessed for myself his cheeky refusal to take no for an answer. His ever active curiosity would draw him towards official notices such as, Private Keep Out, Closed, No Admittance, Authorised Persons Only. He regarded these as his personal and exclusive welcome signs.

My Dad, my Mother and I aged 6 or 7, were walking in Amsterdam on a Sunday. In those days, Sunday meant “closed”.

I remember standing in front of the imposing black double doors of the Rijksmuseum in the early morning, while my Father pressed the bell. One of the doors opened. A conversation took place in Dutch. The door closed behind us. We had the entire museum to ourselves.

My memory of this is strong, because we hadn’t had breakfast, I had no interest in my cavernous surroundings, I was simply a tired little boy. So I attached myself to one of my Father’s ankles (I can still see his trouser turnups!) and he dragged me gallantly along the highly polished parquet of the museum gallery floors!

One of my own such stories, inspired by my Father’s example, is of just such a fortuitous and memorable personal guided tour of a prehistoric grotto in the Dordogne. A long car journey brought me at 4 o’clock to the small ticket office of a Crystal Grotto with prehistoric drawings.

The man was closing up for the day. I told him why I had come so far to see his cave. Age 8, while my late father was chatting to him, I had sat on the knee of one of the four brothers, the original discoverers of the now world famous Grotte de Lascaux. Please, after a lifetime of waiting, would the Guardien kindly let me see this cave? He agreed, and he enjoined me not tell a soul!

In the early 1960’s, my father began to bring me gifts back from his travels. There were exotic musical instruments and vinyl LPs too. This is how I discovered and became fascinated by the strange sounds of classical music from the Middle East, West Africa, India, China, Indonesia, Japan and indigenous Australia.

One of the most appealing to me was Balinese Gamelan music. To my ears it is full of the natural sounds and rhythms that fill the air in a fauna and flora-rich rain forest. Birds, insects, rain, and stones clunking under waterfalls.

Gamelan orchestra

These sounds are woven into expressions of mystical animism embroidered with reverence by highly disciplined musicianship, refined by successive influences down dozens of centuries from a mix of old traditions from all around this south-east Asian land.

As a young teenager, these cultural novelties had a trickle effect on me, like the magic of light from stained glass windows shining in on me.

My curiosity led me to read up on Buddhism, and the Japanese practice of Zen.

From the time when I was a toddler, I have continued weaving patterns from the strong thread of the love of all living things growing ‘out there’ in the Big Green.

The Zen view opened a channel for my Green awareness.

My Father’s cheerful convictions that there is never any valid reason to take no for an answer, that in reality anything and everything is possible to you with the right way of thinking, using the right formulation of words, sank into me from early on.

I am sure now the grounding effect of these and other assimilated influences not only sculpted my life path, but on occasions actually helped to save my life.

My signature poem – Journey

Journey
This poem, Journey, is like my signature poem.

I composed it at the beginning of my eclosure after 66 years. It is still my truth. It is a guide which allows me to recognise the journey of others.

It is so thrilling. I try to describe how I balance the way I am the observer of my Journey (my Work, my Endeavour, my Passage, my unselfconscious ritual of the being I call me) against the unending flux of it.

One element of the wonder at this unfolding is the bright newness of it. Nothing is the same. It is newness without end. There is an inclination to want to find stability in a maelstrom of newness.

There is a need for a gathering of myself and of my balance as I walk out into a high gale. Please! Let it pause, and give me time to see what’s happening and where it is I’m going!

The visualisation of my new surroundings, though it may be confusing, is in many ways exactly what it is I am waking and walking into!

There no otherwhere from which to observe.

I am not going anywhere new. I am new. I am new EveryNow.

On the one hand, all that the me I call myself has been before is out of mind and out of date. On the other hand, where I am arriving can be felt by me with such intensity as to be overwhelming.

Overwhelm of beauty, of love, of wonder and gratitude, to name only a few.

That there is only positivity and that there is a perception of the moment as being a continuum of flux of always astonishing beauty is the truth about the journey.

If I take a measure, and hold up scepticism to the words I use, I can always touch into my heart. I see again the familiar orange glow, I hear the silent melodies, and my heart, unerring, redistributes love into balance.

This touching the heart is a way to feel the grace of knowingly being alive, and it is always a flip-flop of divine pleasure. It is the visceral warmth from a glance – my lover’s eyes meeting mine.

I do not give myself imaginings of stories in which I play any part. To do that would lift me outside of the EveryNow. A whole world of paper-thin blown-glass structures would shatter. And I would be nowhere to be seen.

If there is any purpose to my presence, so intensively alight, in the flux of it all, it is to be as translucent as I can be, so these things I write about are not shaded nor occulted in any way by my shining them.

Last, in trying to find imagery that fits, I visualised these icebergs.

Here is a vast planetary ocean where towering huge ice people, lighter than the liquid where they’ve been living, are emerging from the deep.

As they break surface, gigantic glittering waterfalls cascade from their shoulders.

Every enormous brilliantly shining face has mouth open in silent wonder at the sight of the deep from above, the perfect curvature of horizon, the sky, the sun, and the startling beauty of the emergences of others.

~ Love is present EveryNow